Transfer

What a drama!

Let me start off by telling you, that as a child I had a constant bladder infection and I was in and out of hospital for almost 3 years so I now have an irritable bladder and I have panic attacks as soon as I feel the need to go to toilet. I knew this was going to become a problem, and I have always managed to have scans and the mock transfer without having a full bladder so I hoped that I would be able to get through the 10 min transfer without too much of a problem.

We went in to the transfer room, and thankfully, I had Nikki there to do the transfer and I did explain about my irritable bladder and she was great.

The embryologist came into the room and said we have 4 top grade day 5 blastocyst embryos, two hadn't quite caught up so they were going to culture them over night and two hadn't made it. They said they would only transfer one as they were such great quality and freeze the other 3 today, culture the other two overnight then freeze them in the morning. With the grade of the embryo they were transferring, I had a 60% pregnancy rate.
There were 3 nurses and the embryologist in the room at the time and they all said that it was an excellent result to have 5 top grade frosties.

Then we get down to business, legs up in stirrups, bits hanging out and we are ready to go! I started having a panic about my bladder as soon as they put the ultrasound wand on my stomach, but kept talking myself down saying that it was only 10 mins. We were watching on the screen and I could see they couldn't get the catheter in, it was going at some weird angles and they just kept hitting a dead end, we were probably trying about 25 mins then I started panicking, crying, felt sick, so they decided it was best for them and for me to have a rest and come back, they let me go to toilet and said maybe an empty bladder would change my anatomy slightly and may make it a bit easier.
So we went into the waiting room where my bestie was sat waiting for us and I burst into tears again and said I felt so stupid, she managed to calm me down and I felt a bit better. Nikki came out and I cried again and she was telling me to stop worrying, it wasn't my fault, I have a S shaped cervix, which is more like a two Zs put together as all the angles are 90 degrees, so its that that's making it difficult, not me. She was so good with me, calmed me down, made jokes and explained that the last woman they had in who had this problem it had taken them 1 and a half hours, but she had rung that morning to tell them she had her BFP. She also asked if I had had an HSG at some point as they seem to think there is some damage to my cervix and that a 'fake channel' had been formed and that's where the catheter kept going. And also my ovaries were still quite swollen so that was probably having an impact as well.

So back in to try again, and Nikki had to go and see another patient, so they decided that another nurse would give it a go, I had an empty bladder this time, so they could try a bit longer and I was less stressed out and more comfortable ( as comfortable as you can be when someones ramming a catheter into your cervix) but they still couldn't get it in, they were probably trying for an hour, you could see them and hear them all talking to each other, and asking where and what they should do from here? They were starting to get a bit worried, they called the embryologist in who gave them a different kind of catheter to use, but they still couldn't get it past that one point.
We over heard a conversation about possibly sedating me tomorrow and doing it that way, and that really upset to think I had to wait another day, so they sent us back into he waiting room so they could discuss their options and try and find the head doctor so he could come and have a go.
At this point the worst of my worries were that I would have to come back the next day...........

So off they pop to get the head doctor (another lovely man) he took us into the room and explained if he could not get the catheter in, they will be freezing all my embies, doing surgery on my cervix and then have a FET in future. Well for more than one reason, we obviously didn't want that to happen.
The doctor left the room so I could get undressed AGAIN, and this time, I took my lucky socks off, they hadn't done me such fucking good so far today, and they had me in a different room which was the opposite way round to the room I had been in and Bongo said that was probably a good thing as well!!
So the doctor comes in and in my head I'm just thinking 'I don't care what you do and how rough you are, just get that damn catheter in' and luckily within about 10/15 mins, lots of pain, prodding, pulling and stabbing, you suddenly heard the sonographer at first very quietly say 'I think it's in' then louder 'yep, it definitely in' and a collective sigh of relief through the whole of the staff, I turned to look at Bongo and bless him, he had burst into tears, I couldn't really do a lot, except let a little sob out, as I had my legs in stirrups, my lady parts clamped open with a speculum and a catheter though my cervix, I couldn't get up and give him a hug and I couldn't look at him, because I just needed to get through this without breaking down again,.

The embryologist came in and done the usual name and DOB checks on my embryos and then went off and loaded the new catheter with the embryo and bought it back. This whole time, they had kept the ultrasound on me and we were allowed to watch as they put the embryo into my uterus, then they paused the screen so we could see, and then the nurse printed us off a picture and said we could keep it as I had been through so much trauma, they don't usually do that for patients.

The little white blob is the embryo in fluid inside my uterus, it isn't very clear as I had an empty bladder.

Everyone including all the staff was so relieved, then we were given information and fact sheets and a pregnancy tests and told to keep taking the pessaries that I can now take vaginally (whoohooo) and told to test on the 1st December. I was officially told I am PUPO and I am to act as if I am 100% pregnant.

I do believe that because it was a male doctor doing it, he was probably a lot more forceful and rougher , the ladies were maybe being a bit more gentle as they are more sympathetic to how it feels, I just had a good feeling when they said it was a male doctor, as I had a feeling he would make sure it happened come hell or high water as he didn't fully comprehend the pain!! 

So finally we have an embryo which we have named PEA, as Bongo and my best friend were with me and they are known as 'two peas on a pod'. It feels weird to know that I have a 'baby' in me, but I don't physically feel any different.

I have found a brilliant website that tells you what happens everyday with the embryo until test date, I'm not sure if that's such a wise idea though!!

http://www.nyufertilitycenter.org/ivf/embryo_transfer

And also this morning, I managed to have my first BM since Thursday!! I was so scared to go though, I was scared I was going to push the embryo out, but seeing as I have the most retarded cervix (as my mate now calls it) I don't think anything is going to come out of there though!

I do now wonder if that is why I couldn't get pregnant naturally, his swimmers would have needed an A-Z, a SatNav and a survival pack to have made that journey through my cervix. They didn't exactly say that at the clinic because obviously they didn't want to give me a definite diagnosis there and then, but I think thats what they were thinking.

So now just to count down the days until the 1st December, this is going to be the longest 10 days ever!

oh and by the time we left, 3 hours later, the slower two of the embryos that they wanted to culture overnight had caught up and were ready for freezing along with the others!