So, I am six days past a five day transfer....6dp5dt
I don't really have a lot to report really, emotionally, my feelings are very up and down, Saturday was a very bad day and just felt so negative and sat and discussed with Bongo and Charlie how stupid I will feel that my body has failed if I get a BFN, but I will feel even more stupid for actually believing that I would possibly get my BFP. I know my LTTTCers will know exactly what I mean there!
Physically has been on and off as well, I am having the usual tiredness, nausea and sore boobs, but this is down to the Cygolest (progesterone pessaries) so I know not to look into that.
After the transfer for a few days when I went to toilet, I would have a sharp pain around my laft ovary area, but as the nurse said, my ovaries are still pretty swollen, so it must be that.
I am having really bad, vivid nightmares, every night I am waking up shivering or crying. The nightmares are not even really to do with myself, they can be really random, but still very upsetting.
I'm not even going to try and anylise them.
I'm also feeling a lot of pressure from RL friends who keep messaging me everyday on FB asking how things are going. I have explained time and time again, that I wont know anything until the 1st December, so there's no point asking me everyday. It feels like I am public property at the moment and I actually think it's really rude! I understand they care and they want to hear good news, but don't they also think about how I will feel having to tell them I am not pregnant? It's putting a lot of pressure on myself to have good news to tell them as well, which seems ridiculous! My body, my journey, it's a private thing.
So, as of Friday morning, I will be deactivating my Facebook temporarily so people cannot contact me, if and when I feel ready, I will update here.
So here's what should be happening inside me right now, and of course the urge to POAS is incredible! But I only have one test and I am not buying anymore, so I will just have to wait it out!
6dp5dt: Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream
And silly me reading through some forums and some ladies have their BFP on 5dp5dt, which was yesterday...........
Darling KK, you never even thought you would get this far.....1 fantastic embryo & 5 frozen!
ReplyDeleteFocus on the fact that you have those 5. It wd be perfect if you got your bfp on Saturday, but as you are already worrying that you won't, then you need to focus your mind on what happens after that. Don't let this stress build up too much, this won't be your one and only shot. It's impossible for me to understand how u really feel right now, but this is what I imagine I wd have to tell myself if I was you right now
Love u loads xxxx
That is exactly what I have been trying to think!
DeleteThanks Cat
Love Ya! xxxx
Oh Karen I can't imagine what you're going through, but you've been so strong so far, don't let this beat you now!! Whatever is going to happen on Saturday is going to happen, no amount of worrying and tears can change it, like Cat said, it's just about thinking what happens after then.
ReplyDeleteIt's nobodies business but yours, Bongos and Charlies what happens on Saturday, so it's entirely up to you who you tell, how you tell them or who you don't tell at all!
No matter what the outcome you know we're here and we'll wait for you to do what you feel comfortable doing. Also - GOOGLE IS THE DEVIL! back away from google this very minute you!!
Yay finally been able to comment!
xxxx
But I love Google at the moment!! LOL!!
DeleteFB is being deactivated this evening, so you will have to have updates here or from Sophie!!
xxxxxx