It just seems to be going from bad to worse!
I ended up seeing the bitch doctor, who didn't take me seriously even though I showed her the pathology report. So she didn't give me antibiotics. She wasn't interested in my fall and said I just need to manage my diabetes better and I won't feel so ill. So I'm still here feeling rougher than a badgers arse, drinking plenty of water and cranberry to try and flush this infection.
And then my cooker decided to blow up last night! Blew all the electrics in the house, we managed to isolate the cooker fuse and have electric back apart from one wall in the kitchen, which I forgot about when going to make breakfast this morning. I ended up having to lug the toaster and microwave across the kitchen to cook my breakfast! It's no good not having a cooker! I'm supposed to be eating healthy! Let's not even go into the cost of buying a new cooker just before the baby is due and Christmas being round the corner!!
Then I managed to get the tumble dryer stuck on low heat setting, so everything is taking an age to dry!!
But I'm fine!! Honestly!! *manic laughing*
Thursday 17 October 2013
Wednesday 16 October 2013
Off to the Doctors
So, I'm off to the doctors this afternoon.
I am taking a bag with pyjamas etc in, just in case I am admitted.
I had a very bad diabetic hypo last night. No warning whatsoever.
I was in a stressful situation, I had to move my old car, but it wouldn't start, which was pissing me off, I then drove to my mums on my own, decided I didn't like where I had parked and moved the car, then went into my mums. I told her and my dad I didn't feel too great, but was just stressed out and cold (because I was shivering), Mum made me a cup of tea with a sugar, (me not realising what she was picking up on) this made me no better, I ate a biscuit, still no better, my Dad then made me do my blood reading on his machine, I was 2.2. Then it all just went a bit weird. I remember throwing the machine at my Dad and saying 'well that will fucking do it' and walking into the kitchen to try and find something to eat to get my sugars back up again. Luckily, my Mum trailed behind me feeding me cereal bars and milk and made me finish the sweet tea. My Bloods went back up to 6.6, but physically, I don't even feel any better now. I felt spaced out, my brain felt fuzzy, I could only see out of one eye, shaking, nauseous and just acting really weird! Apparently my friend rang while all this was going on and I was talking absolute shit to her!
So I rang the Doctors and explained everything, the receptionist wasn't going to gove me an appointment until Monday, until the Doctor said that it could possibly be the UTI affecting my diabetes. And if the infection is left untreated, it can be a contributing factor to pre-term labour. So why didn't that damn hospital give me antibiotics last Friday and why didn't they ring me back on Monday, why has it got to this point where I have got really ill before anyone will see me or take me seriously?
Anyway, I will update later. Not sure if anyone's even reading anymore after all my drama!
I am taking a bag with pyjamas etc in, just in case I am admitted.
I had a very bad diabetic hypo last night. No warning whatsoever.
I was in a stressful situation, I had to move my old car, but it wouldn't start, which was pissing me off, I then drove to my mums on my own, decided I didn't like where I had parked and moved the car, then went into my mums. I told her and my dad I didn't feel too great, but was just stressed out and cold (because I was shivering), Mum made me a cup of tea with a sugar, (me not realising what she was picking up on) this made me no better, I ate a biscuit, still no better, my Dad then made me do my blood reading on his machine, I was 2.2. Then it all just went a bit weird. I remember throwing the machine at my Dad and saying 'well that will fucking do it' and walking into the kitchen to try and find something to eat to get my sugars back up again. Luckily, my Mum trailed behind me feeding me cereal bars and milk and made me finish the sweet tea. My Bloods went back up to 6.6, but physically, I don't even feel any better now. I felt spaced out, my brain felt fuzzy, I could only see out of one eye, shaking, nauseous and just acting really weird! Apparently my friend rang while all this was going on and I was talking absolute shit to her!
So I rang the Doctors and explained everything, the receptionist wasn't going to gove me an appointment until Monday, until the Doctor said that it could possibly be the UTI affecting my diabetes. And if the infection is left untreated, it can be a contributing factor to pre-term labour. So why didn't that damn hospital give me antibiotics last Friday and why didn't they ring me back on Monday, why has it got to this point where I have got really ill before anyone will see me or take me seriously?
Anyway, I will update later. Not sure if anyone's even reading anymore after all my drama!
Tuesday 15 October 2013
31 Weeks 4 days
Another quick update, as I would like to reply to everyone's lovely comments as one.
We have talked about the possibility of having more children, no contraception, what will be will be. Although we are not getting any younger!
I know I really just cannot allow my frosties to perish, I have to find the money from somewhere, but we are still undecided on if we would ever use them? My reasoning is, that what, if in two years time, I have the strong urge to have another baby again, I know they are there.
We also both feel very selfish for feeling that way, when a few of our friends are still struggling and fighting for the chance to just have one. I haven't felt able to discuss this before now, because I feel very guilty towards my friends who are still in no-mans-land, still fighting, still hurting and still yearning for that BFP.
I feel very protective over my little frosties. They are my babies. I feel by letting them perish, it would be akin to telling them that I just don't need them anymore.
I will find this money for another years storage (awful word to use when discussing my embryo's). I have to. As one of you said, I went through so much to get them.
In other news.
I need bubble wrap. For me. I need locking up until this baby is born, in a padded room where I can come to no harm.
We live on an estate full of what I can only describe as scum! Alcoholics, drug addicts, drug dealers, woman beaters, we have the police and/or an ambulance here at least 3 times a week.
Now I know my darling Sophie has got to be a big girl, and she's still pretty puppy like and not so great around other dogs, I am not saying she's an angel at all. So Bongo has trained her very well , he takes her out before he leaves for work, and the first thing he does when he gets home is to take her out again. Since being pregnant, this has worked great, she never needs or asks me to go out.
We have this alcoholic woman in the next block, who has a little (jack Russell) terrier the same age as Sophie, but I swear, it's the devil dog. Typical Jack Russell traits, very snappy, jumpy, quite aggressive Every time she walks it, you hear it barking and being aggressive towards other dogs. She's horrible. Her dog is horrible.
Anyway, yesterday, for some reason, literally half hour before Bongo was due to walk through the door, Sophie was asking me if she could go out. She must have been desperate, bless her, so I stick my boots on and a wooly cardigan as it had been raining pretty bad all day and was cold. I would just take her out the gate to do her business, then bring her straight back in, so she has relief but Bongo can still give her, her exercise when he gets in. The first time in months I have had to take her out.
As soon as I get out the gate, she has a tinkle and was about to turn and walk back in, and round the corner comes the old alcoholic and the devil dog. I say immediately, 'sorry, I can't stop and talk, this is the first time I've taken her out in ages as I'm worried about her pulling, as I only have 8 weeks left until I give birth', she walked around me, blocked the gate and said 'oh, just let them say hello for two minutes', I couldn't get past her or do anything, but stand on the grass next to the pathway and hope and pray that Sophie doesn't pull me over. Then her fucking dog started jumping, snarling and snapping at Sophie, Sophie has then darted, pulling me arse over tit, and I couldn't get a grip on the ground with my boots as I was on wet muddy grass next to the path, straight onto my bum and leg (thankfully) I think I took most of the impact in my hand, but I landed on the concrete ground. This fucking woman, just stood there looking at me sprawled on the floor and just said 'oh you need to be more careful in future'. She didn't offer to help me up or anything. I got up and tried coming in doors, but she still insisted on blocking my way and trying to talk to me about my pregnancy! I was trying to be polite and say I will catch up with her another time (not in my bloody lifetime!) but all I wanted to do was get in and ring Bongo.
I finally managed to get in. Poor Sophie got the raw end of the deal and took a telling off, although it really wasn't her fault at all. I couldn't stop crying, I was in shock and totally embarrassed that I had fallen over in front of neighbours (who not one of them stopped to help, but my bump was pretty well hidden, so I can't bitch about them not helping a pregnant woman)
My leg is bruised, as is my hand. But I think where I landed on my bum as well, it has sent the impact to my pelvis (which is already bad due to SPD and my UTI) I can't walk today at all, I can't get in and out of bed. I have NEVER NEVER felt pain like this. It feels like someone is smashing at my pelvis with a sledgehammer, even the skin is sore. I can't put any weight on my left leg as it sends pain all the way through my pelvis (my left is the side I fell on)
Cora-Jane is just fine. She knew mummy needed reassurance straight away and has been a little wriggle bum ever since. I will go and get it checked out at the labour ward triage if the pain is still there 24 hours after the initial fall. But mothers intuition tells me everything is fine. And I do think some of the pain is the UTI (which the hospital failed to contact me about yesterday).
Everyone is really angry at the woman, mostly for not helping me get up, but also because I had told her to please just let me get my dog in and she insisted on standing there and allowing her dog to wind Sophie up. Bongo said he will be having words when he sees her next. My friend wanted to come round and go knock on her door and tell her off!
Charlie has now offered to come around after school everyday and take Sophie out 'just in case'. Even he said if he see's her, he's going to kick her!! I don't condone violence in my children at all, but all I could think was 'bless him', because I know he doesn't mean it, he wouldn't actually do it, he's just very very protective of me and his sister. And he's willing to get into trouble with his dad to help me out, by coming here straight after school and not straight to his dads.
So if I end up at the hospital again tonight, i will update again as soon as possible!
We have talked about the possibility of having more children, no contraception, what will be will be. Although we are not getting any younger!
I know I really just cannot allow my frosties to perish, I have to find the money from somewhere, but we are still undecided on if we would ever use them? My reasoning is, that what, if in two years time, I have the strong urge to have another baby again, I know they are there.
We also both feel very selfish for feeling that way, when a few of our friends are still struggling and fighting for the chance to just have one. I haven't felt able to discuss this before now, because I feel very guilty towards my friends who are still in no-mans-land, still fighting, still hurting and still yearning for that BFP.
I feel very protective over my little frosties. They are my babies. I feel by letting them perish, it would be akin to telling them that I just don't need them anymore.
I will find this money for another years storage (awful word to use when discussing my embryo's). I have to. As one of you said, I went through so much to get them.
In other news.
I need bubble wrap. For me. I need locking up until this baby is born, in a padded room where I can come to no harm.
We live on an estate full of what I can only describe as scum! Alcoholics, drug addicts, drug dealers, woman beaters, we have the police and/or an ambulance here at least 3 times a week.
Now I know my darling Sophie has got to be a big girl, and she's still pretty puppy like and not so great around other dogs, I am not saying she's an angel at all. So Bongo has trained her very well , he takes her out before he leaves for work, and the first thing he does when he gets home is to take her out again. Since being pregnant, this has worked great, she never needs or asks me to go out.
We have this alcoholic woman in the next block, who has a little (jack Russell) terrier the same age as Sophie, but I swear, it's the devil dog. Typical Jack Russell traits, very snappy, jumpy, quite aggressive Every time she walks it, you hear it barking and being aggressive towards other dogs. She's horrible. Her dog is horrible.
Anyway, yesterday, for some reason, literally half hour before Bongo was due to walk through the door, Sophie was asking me if she could go out. She must have been desperate, bless her, so I stick my boots on and a wooly cardigan as it had been raining pretty bad all day and was cold. I would just take her out the gate to do her business, then bring her straight back in, so she has relief but Bongo can still give her, her exercise when he gets in. The first time in months I have had to take her out.
As soon as I get out the gate, she has a tinkle and was about to turn and walk back in, and round the corner comes the old alcoholic and the devil dog. I say immediately, 'sorry, I can't stop and talk, this is the first time I've taken her out in ages as I'm worried about her pulling, as I only have 8 weeks left until I give birth', she walked around me, blocked the gate and said 'oh, just let them say hello for two minutes', I couldn't get past her or do anything, but stand on the grass next to the pathway and hope and pray that Sophie doesn't pull me over. Then her fucking dog started jumping, snarling and snapping at Sophie, Sophie has then darted, pulling me arse over tit, and I couldn't get a grip on the ground with my boots as I was on wet muddy grass next to the path, straight onto my bum and leg (thankfully) I think I took most of the impact in my hand, but I landed on the concrete ground. This fucking woman, just stood there looking at me sprawled on the floor and just said 'oh you need to be more careful in future'. She didn't offer to help me up or anything. I got up and tried coming in doors, but she still insisted on blocking my way and trying to talk to me about my pregnancy! I was trying to be polite and say I will catch up with her another time (not in my bloody lifetime!) but all I wanted to do was get in and ring Bongo.
I finally managed to get in. Poor Sophie got the raw end of the deal and took a telling off, although it really wasn't her fault at all. I couldn't stop crying, I was in shock and totally embarrassed that I had fallen over in front of neighbours (who not one of them stopped to help, but my bump was pretty well hidden, so I can't bitch about them not helping a pregnant woman)
My leg is bruised, as is my hand. But I think where I landed on my bum as well, it has sent the impact to my pelvis (which is already bad due to SPD and my UTI) I can't walk today at all, I can't get in and out of bed. I have NEVER NEVER felt pain like this. It feels like someone is smashing at my pelvis with a sledgehammer, even the skin is sore. I can't put any weight on my left leg as it sends pain all the way through my pelvis (my left is the side I fell on)
Cora-Jane is just fine. She knew mummy needed reassurance straight away and has been a little wriggle bum ever since. I will go and get it checked out at the labour ward triage if the pain is still there 24 hours after the initial fall. But mothers intuition tells me everything is fine. And I do think some of the pain is the UTI (which the hospital failed to contact me about yesterday).
Everyone is really angry at the woman, mostly for not helping me get up, but also because I had told her to please just let me get my dog in and she insisted on standing there and allowing her dog to wind Sophie up. Bongo said he will be having words when he sees her next. My friend wanted to come round and go knock on her door and tell her off!
Charlie has now offered to come around after school everyday and take Sophie out 'just in case'. Even he said if he see's her, he's going to kick her!! I don't condone violence in my children at all, but all I could think was 'bless him', because I know he doesn't mean it, he wouldn't actually do it, he's just very very protective of me and his sister. And he's willing to get into trouble with his dad to help me out, by coming here straight after school and not straight to his dads.
So if I end up at the hospital again tonight, i will update again as soon as possible!
Sunday 13 October 2013
31 Weeks 2 days
Agh, I've been so crap at updating!
But I've had so much going on, so many appointments I'm surprised I haven't been allocated my own VIP parking space at the hospital!
Here's my 31 week bump! Ha Ha! Another 9 weeks of growing, I have no idea where she's going to make room, I'm full of baby already!
So, back to my appointments.
We had our growth scan and consultant appointment on 1st October. We had that horrible sonographer who done my dating scan, she quickly done what she needed to do, didn't show us anything or take her time, she was very grumpy and snappy as usual. When she asked us to wait outside so she could write the report up, Bongo had asked her to print off a growth chart that our midwife had asked us to grab while at the hospital and she refused point blank to do it. So while she's writing the report, the other sonographer who I usually see comes out and asks how we are and how things are going. We then get called in to pick the report up, and she looks at the chart and says she needs to check some measurements from my last scan, which obviously worried us, but she didn't elaborate, gave us our scan report to go and see the consultant and said everything looks 'fine'. I asked her if the baby is big and she just looked at me like I was mad and sent me on my way!
So we went to see the consultant, my urine was checked as standard procedure, and they find a trace of protien in my urine. Excellent. I also thought my blood pressure would be up because I've had a shit few days beforehand with Charlie's dad being a knob, but thats a whole other story!
In we go to see the consultant, and she agrees straight away to me having an ELCS, Bongo is still sat there trying to argue points with her, bless him, until I said to him 'she has just agreed!', but they can't book electives until 33 weeks, so I am to go back for my growth scan and another appointment on 29th October and they will book my ELCS!! She re-checked my blood pressure, which surprisngly came back perfect, so told me not to worry about the protein trace.
4th October
My diabetes had completley gone out of control, I can't get the bloody readings within target no matter how little I eat, how ridgedly I stick to the eating plan, so I was called into hospital to start on insulin injections. A plan was made, 2 units before breakfast, 2 units before dinner, and I am to call them in 4 days time to see how things are and if my dose needs adjusting. BUT, there is no one there to write my script out, so they wrote me a letter to take to my GP surgery and get them to do my script immediatly. So off I walk the mile to the doctors and pratically beg the receptionist to get the script written out for me, she told me to go and wait in the waiting room. An hour later she pops her head round with my script!! So I walk into town and go to the pharmacy who tells me they don't have the vials in and would need to order them (a lot of our pharmacies don't actually stock insulin and order them in for the next day) so I told her not to worry, I will try somewhere else. As I'm walking out the shop I realise............ VIALS???? It's supposed to be a KwikPen!!! I rang my mum, burst into tears in the middle of town and told her I just can't cope anymore! She told me she was coming to meet me and to meet her at our usual meeting spot and she would take me back to the doctors to get this sorted. As I am standing on the pavement away from the road waiting for my mum, tears and snot down my face some woman decides she wants to turn her car around, drives straight at me and mounts the kerb in her massive Mercededes estate, if I hadn't have jumped out the way, I'd have been crushed agaist a wall. She had miles of road to turn around, she could have reversed aroiund a corner, but oh no, she decides to drive straight at the pregnant woman and mounts the pavement to run me over in the process (she should have done a 3 point turn if she really desperayly needed to turn round right there) Well, you can imagine the foul abuse that came out my mouth! How I didn't drag her out the car and batter the living shit out of her is anyones guess!!
So anyway, my mum arrives, takes me to the doctors and it turns out it was the most incompetent doctor in the surgery who had written my prescription out, no one I know will see her because she is just an idiot! She had wriiten the needles for the KwikPen on my script, but put vials of insulin instead of the pen. It doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to work out that KwikPen needles do not go on vials does it?? My script is changed, but by this time its 16.30pm, where the hell will I get the insulin now?? I told mum to take me home and I would just get Bongo to drive me round all the pharacies in the supermarkets tonight and if they have to order it in for tomorrow then so be it. But we were driving past the little independant pharmacy near my house and luckily they had it all in for me!!
But my bloods still haven't settled, so I rang Tuesday and they put my insulin up in the evening to 4 untits. And I haven't been feeling at all well, I have really bad backache around my kidney on the left side and my bladder aches all the time. I just know I have a UTI, but can't get a god damn doctors appointment.
7th October
I went and had my whooping cough vaccine. OUCHY is all I can say, for two days afterwards it felt like someone had been trying to hack my am off with a blunt axe, you would think I was used to all these needles, but Jesus, this one hurts like a bitch!!
11th October
Today we have Diabetic Ante-Natal clinic. For some reason, my agoraphobia is really bad today, I'm restless, I feel ill, I just want out of here!!
I am taken in to see the midwife, who runs a urine analysis, I do indeed have a UTI and am told to drink Cranberry juice over the weekend and I will get a call Monday if I need to get antibiotics from my GP (Ha, Ha!) I also have 1+ for protien and 1+ for ketones, which I was expecting as my sugar levels are still high even though I have increased my dose of insulin! I was fully expecting to be admitted as an inpatient due to all these problems.
I was then taken into another room where all the doctors and nurses would come and see me instead of waiting in the waiting room and keep being called in by different people, this system seemed to work really well. First of all I saw the diabetic doctor and nurse who have again increased my insulin! Then the dietician came in and spoke to me, who was really helpful about the high reading I had had the previous lunch time after a prawn and pasta salad. Then the ante-natal team came in to see me. I saw the top top man, a really really nice bloke, but you could tell from his prescence he just demanded respect!! I am measuring 32 weeks, so bang on target really, he also asked how I would like to give birth and I said ELCS, he asked if I had been booked yet and I said no they wouldn't book it until 33 weeks and I have an apppintment on 29th for that. He tutted and said don't worry, I'll book it now, he filled in the form in front of me and wrote in my notes that I will be booked for 39 weeks for an ELCS, he asked for my phone number, so they will be ringing me with a date. If they do it at 39 weeks, it will be 6th December!! I was also told that if I go into labour before my date, I am to go straight to labour ward and I will have an EMCS, I am so relieved to finally NOT have to fight for this.
I still have to have multiple appointments at the diabetic clinic, scans for growth and consultant appointments, but I am glad I'm being so well looked after.
But I've given myself a new worry!! We have severe weather warnings for this winter, starting from next month!! I'm so worried about if I go into labour and have to try and get to the hospital before she decidedes to just pop out!!
Bongo's work is a nightmare to get hold of anyone, there is never anyone on the switchboard for me to be put through to his unit, and the only direct line into his unit is his Gov. office and she always keeps that locked! Obviously he can't have his mobile phone with him at work, so I have a panic on already about not being able to get hold of him!!! Mum's 10 mins away and is always around, I have friends and family on standby, but I will just want Bongo!!
That's all I can think of that has happened so far! Sorry for the long post.
I can't believe in 8 weeks, I'm going to be holding my princess in my arms. It's flown by. As much as I can't wait to hold her, I also want to enjoy every moment of being pregnant, I will probably never feel a baby kick in my belly again (or my bum as she quite likes to kick my arse!).
My year is also up on my funding for my frozen babies, and I'm getting worried. I just don't have the money right now to pay the year fee to keep them, what with paying for all the baby stuff and Christmas coming up. Looks like I will be taking my begging bowl to my sister!! Am I selfish for wanting to keep them? I just can't let them go.
But I've had so much going on, so many appointments I'm surprised I haven't been allocated my own VIP parking space at the hospital!
So, back to my appointments.
We had our growth scan and consultant appointment on 1st October. We had that horrible sonographer who done my dating scan, she quickly done what she needed to do, didn't show us anything or take her time, she was very grumpy and snappy as usual. When she asked us to wait outside so she could write the report up, Bongo had asked her to print off a growth chart that our midwife had asked us to grab while at the hospital and she refused point blank to do it. So while she's writing the report, the other sonographer who I usually see comes out and asks how we are and how things are going. We then get called in to pick the report up, and she looks at the chart and says she needs to check some measurements from my last scan, which obviously worried us, but she didn't elaborate, gave us our scan report to go and see the consultant and said everything looks 'fine'. I asked her if the baby is big and she just looked at me like I was mad and sent me on my way!
So we went to see the consultant, my urine was checked as standard procedure, and they find a trace of protien in my urine. Excellent. I also thought my blood pressure would be up because I've had a shit few days beforehand with Charlie's dad being a knob, but thats a whole other story!
In we go to see the consultant, and she agrees straight away to me having an ELCS, Bongo is still sat there trying to argue points with her, bless him, until I said to him 'she has just agreed!', but they can't book electives until 33 weeks, so I am to go back for my growth scan and another appointment on 29th October and they will book my ELCS!! She re-checked my blood pressure, which surprisngly came back perfect, so told me not to worry about the protein trace.
4th October
My diabetes had completley gone out of control, I can't get the bloody readings within target no matter how little I eat, how ridgedly I stick to the eating plan, so I was called into hospital to start on insulin injections. A plan was made, 2 units before breakfast, 2 units before dinner, and I am to call them in 4 days time to see how things are and if my dose needs adjusting. BUT, there is no one there to write my script out, so they wrote me a letter to take to my GP surgery and get them to do my script immediatly. So off I walk the mile to the doctors and pratically beg the receptionist to get the script written out for me, she told me to go and wait in the waiting room. An hour later she pops her head round with my script!! So I walk into town and go to the pharmacy who tells me they don't have the vials in and would need to order them (a lot of our pharmacies don't actually stock insulin and order them in for the next day) so I told her not to worry, I will try somewhere else. As I'm walking out the shop I realise............ VIALS???? It's supposed to be a KwikPen!!! I rang my mum, burst into tears in the middle of town and told her I just can't cope anymore! She told me she was coming to meet me and to meet her at our usual meeting spot and she would take me back to the doctors to get this sorted. As I am standing on the pavement away from the road waiting for my mum, tears and snot down my face some woman decides she wants to turn her car around, drives straight at me and mounts the kerb in her massive Mercededes estate, if I hadn't have jumped out the way, I'd have been crushed agaist a wall. She had miles of road to turn around, she could have reversed aroiund a corner, but oh no, she decides to drive straight at the pregnant woman and mounts the pavement to run me over in the process (she should have done a 3 point turn if she really desperayly needed to turn round right there) Well, you can imagine the foul abuse that came out my mouth! How I didn't drag her out the car and batter the living shit out of her is anyones guess!!
So anyway, my mum arrives, takes me to the doctors and it turns out it was the most incompetent doctor in the surgery who had written my prescription out, no one I know will see her because she is just an idiot! She had wriiten the needles for the KwikPen on my script, but put vials of insulin instead of the pen. It doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to work out that KwikPen needles do not go on vials does it?? My script is changed, but by this time its 16.30pm, where the hell will I get the insulin now?? I told mum to take me home and I would just get Bongo to drive me round all the pharacies in the supermarkets tonight and if they have to order it in for tomorrow then so be it. But we were driving past the little independant pharmacy near my house and luckily they had it all in for me!!
But my bloods still haven't settled, so I rang Tuesday and they put my insulin up in the evening to 4 untits. And I haven't been feeling at all well, I have really bad backache around my kidney on the left side and my bladder aches all the time. I just know I have a UTI, but can't get a god damn doctors appointment.
7th October
I went and had my whooping cough vaccine. OUCHY is all I can say, for two days afterwards it felt like someone had been trying to hack my am off with a blunt axe, you would think I was used to all these needles, but Jesus, this one hurts like a bitch!!
11th October
Today we have Diabetic Ante-Natal clinic. For some reason, my agoraphobia is really bad today, I'm restless, I feel ill, I just want out of here!!
I am taken in to see the midwife, who runs a urine analysis, I do indeed have a UTI and am told to drink Cranberry juice over the weekend and I will get a call Monday if I need to get antibiotics from my GP (Ha, Ha!) I also have 1+ for protien and 1+ for ketones, which I was expecting as my sugar levels are still high even though I have increased my dose of insulin! I was fully expecting to be admitted as an inpatient due to all these problems.
I was then taken into another room where all the doctors and nurses would come and see me instead of waiting in the waiting room and keep being called in by different people, this system seemed to work really well. First of all I saw the diabetic doctor and nurse who have again increased my insulin! Then the dietician came in and spoke to me, who was really helpful about the high reading I had had the previous lunch time after a prawn and pasta salad. Then the ante-natal team came in to see me. I saw the top top man, a really really nice bloke, but you could tell from his prescence he just demanded respect!! I am measuring 32 weeks, so bang on target really, he also asked how I would like to give birth and I said ELCS, he asked if I had been booked yet and I said no they wouldn't book it until 33 weeks and I have an apppintment on 29th for that. He tutted and said don't worry, I'll book it now, he filled in the form in front of me and wrote in my notes that I will be booked for 39 weeks for an ELCS, he asked for my phone number, so they will be ringing me with a date. If they do it at 39 weeks, it will be 6th December!! I was also told that if I go into labour before my date, I am to go straight to labour ward and I will have an EMCS, I am so relieved to finally NOT have to fight for this.
I still have to have multiple appointments at the diabetic clinic, scans for growth and consultant appointments, but I am glad I'm being so well looked after.
But I've given myself a new worry!! We have severe weather warnings for this winter, starting from next month!! I'm so worried about if I go into labour and have to try and get to the hospital before she decidedes to just pop out!!
Bongo's work is a nightmare to get hold of anyone, there is never anyone on the switchboard for me to be put through to his unit, and the only direct line into his unit is his Gov. office and she always keeps that locked! Obviously he can't have his mobile phone with him at work, so I have a panic on already about not being able to get hold of him!!! Mum's 10 mins away and is always around, I have friends and family on standby, but I will just want Bongo!!
That's all I can think of that has happened so far! Sorry for the long post.
I can't believe in 8 weeks, I'm going to be holding my princess in my arms. It's flown by. As much as I can't wait to hold her, I also want to enjoy every moment of being pregnant, I will probably never feel a baby kick in my belly again (or my bum as she quite likes to kick my arse!).
My year is also up on my funding for my frozen babies, and I'm getting worried. I just don't have the money right now to pay the year fee to keep them, what with paying for all the baby stuff and Christmas coming up. Looks like I will be taking my begging bowl to my sister!! Am I selfish for wanting to keep them? I just can't let them go.
Saturday 21 September 2013
What a week!
So, my birthing ball arrived! I can't even begin to tell you how much just bopping about on my ball has helped with the SPD! Best £30 spent this pregnancy so far!
I had my GTT Wednesday, I was the most awful, grumpiest, hungriest person in the whole world. It's a brave brave person who will deal with me at 8am when I haven't even had a coffee, it's an even braver person who allows their husband to sit next to me in a clinic waiting room full of women who are fasting to sit and eat a packet of prawn cocktail crisps right under my nose!
I want to give a big shout out to the staff at my Fetal Assessment Unit who are such wonderful, lovely caring ladies! They are amazing and so helpful. I told the nurse doing my bloods our story, the 12 year wait, the failed IVF and then the surprise spontaneous pregnancy, and she almost burst into tears and was so happy for us!
They also took my routine 28 week bloods whilst there and had to check my antibody levels to see what dose Anti-D I would need on Friday.
When we left the hospital, we went straight to Starbucks and I got my Latte with a double shot of espresso and almond syrup. When we got home and I had my first sip, along with a pain Au chocolate, Bongo said it sounded like I was having an orgasm and even the cat came strolling out of the bedroom to see what all the fuss was about!! Then I stuffed my face with a fried egg and mushroom sandwich, but alas, there will be no more of that..........
We went back to the hospital yesterday for me to have my Anti-D, but it had been sent to the wrong site of the hospital 15 miles away, the fantastic midwife rang down to pharmacy and had them immediately bring me the correct dose! Within 10 mins, I was sat with the massive needle in my arm! She was gave the big speech about not looking, so I told her after IVF meds, this was a walk in the park and she said 'Oh, your the lady! We heard your story Wednesday, everyone in the unit is thrilled for you! Congratulations!' Which was lovely!
Then the bad news, I am anaemic, so have been prescribed Ferrous Sulphate tablets. I was anaemic when pregnant with Charlie and I know from experience that these tablets make me as sick as a dog. I ended up swapping to a natural Iron source called SpaTone. I started taking my tablets last night, and you guessed it, I've been pig sick ever since. So I am going to take SpaTone in the mornings and the Ferrous Sulphate in the evenings when I can handle feeling rough a bit better.
I was also diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. We kind of knew this was going to happen, after my funky blood readings back in 1st Tri. I am so angry at the nurse from my doctors surgery who shouted at me when I rang to discuss after having a hypo. She told me I was being silly and shouldn't have been checking my blood sugar levels as i was only worrying myself for no reason and I was wasting everyones time and shouldn't even have a blood glucose monitor. She should have listened and taken me seriously. I will be making a complaint.
So, I have diabetic clinic on Tuesday as well as midwife to pick up my equipment, see the nutritionist and learn about my diet. Hopefully it will just be diet controlled, but of course, if I need insulin, it will be no biggy to me injecting myself multiple times a day again!
It may very well go in my favour now about having a ELCS, babies tend to be bigger in mothers who have GD which would also mean a higher chance of her having a shoulder dystocia if I am to have a VBAC (which has always been my fear), and also, she may have to be taken to Special Care straight after birth for a couple of hours just to check her blood sugar levels are not too low. They will also not let me go over dates either and I would rather have an ELCS than be induced.
Also, I am having to use bum bullets again (suppositories) s I have hemorrhoid's. I hate these things! But they are getting quite uncomfortable now and the cream on its own just wasn't helping or relieving them.
So, all in all, it's been a shitty week for me, and I can't see the next couple of weeks getting any better. So many appointments coming up, but at least I get to see my little/big piglet again on the 1st October as I have a growth scan and an appointment with the Consultant. Hopefully they will just offer me a date for an ELCS. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
I had my GTT Wednesday, I was the most awful, grumpiest, hungriest person in the whole world. It's a brave brave person who will deal with me at 8am when I haven't even had a coffee, it's an even braver person who allows their husband to sit next to me in a clinic waiting room full of women who are fasting to sit and eat a packet of prawn cocktail crisps right under my nose!
I want to give a big shout out to the staff at my Fetal Assessment Unit who are such wonderful, lovely caring ladies! They are amazing and so helpful. I told the nurse doing my bloods our story, the 12 year wait, the failed IVF and then the surprise spontaneous pregnancy, and she almost burst into tears and was so happy for us!
They also took my routine 28 week bloods whilst there and had to check my antibody levels to see what dose Anti-D I would need on Friday.
When we left the hospital, we went straight to Starbucks and I got my Latte with a double shot of espresso and almond syrup. When we got home and I had my first sip, along with a pain Au chocolate, Bongo said it sounded like I was having an orgasm and even the cat came strolling out of the bedroom to see what all the fuss was about!! Then I stuffed my face with a fried egg and mushroom sandwich, but alas, there will be no more of that..........
We went back to the hospital yesterday for me to have my Anti-D, but it had been sent to the wrong site of the hospital 15 miles away, the fantastic midwife rang down to pharmacy and had them immediately bring me the correct dose! Within 10 mins, I was sat with the massive needle in my arm! She was gave the big speech about not looking, so I told her after IVF meds, this was a walk in the park and she said 'Oh, your the lady! We heard your story Wednesday, everyone in the unit is thrilled for you! Congratulations!' Which was lovely!
Then the bad news, I am anaemic, so have been prescribed Ferrous Sulphate tablets. I was anaemic when pregnant with Charlie and I know from experience that these tablets make me as sick as a dog. I ended up swapping to a natural Iron source called SpaTone. I started taking my tablets last night, and you guessed it, I've been pig sick ever since. So I am going to take SpaTone in the mornings and the Ferrous Sulphate in the evenings when I can handle feeling rough a bit better.
I was also diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. We kind of knew this was going to happen, after my funky blood readings back in 1st Tri. I am so angry at the nurse from my doctors surgery who shouted at me when I rang to discuss after having a hypo. She told me I was being silly and shouldn't have been checking my blood sugar levels as i was only worrying myself for no reason and I was wasting everyones time and shouldn't even have a blood glucose monitor. She should have listened and taken me seriously. I will be making a complaint.
So, I have diabetic clinic on Tuesday as well as midwife to pick up my equipment, see the nutritionist and learn about my diet. Hopefully it will just be diet controlled, but of course, if I need insulin, it will be no biggy to me injecting myself multiple times a day again!
It may very well go in my favour now about having a ELCS, babies tend to be bigger in mothers who have GD which would also mean a higher chance of her having a shoulder dystocia if I am to have a VBAC (which has always been my fear), and also, she may have to be taken to Special Care straight after birth for a couple of hours just to check her blood sugar levels are not too low. They will also not let me go over dates either and I would rather have an ELCS than be induced.
Also, I am having to use bum bullets again (suppositories) s I have hemorrhoid's. I hate these things! But they are getting quite uncomfortable now and the cream on its own just wasn't helping or relieving them.
So, all in all, it's been a shitty week for me, and I can't see the next couple of weeks getting any better. So many appointments coming up, but at least I get to see my little/big piglet again on the 1st October as I have a growth scan and an appointment with the Consultant. Hopefully they will just offer me a date for an ELCS. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
Tuesday 17 September 2013
27 Weeks 4 Days
Lets get the pics out the way!
I have lost my belly button, if anyone finds it, can they return it please??
My bump seems to have 'dropped' since last week.
And I'm sure I am going to give birth to an octopus, she's all arms and legs and wriggly. She makes my whole belly move when she moves, I'm sure she's running out of room already!!
So, I had my VBAC clinic appointment last Wednesday, and I'm very confudeled about the whole business if I'm honest!
If I had just been given the information booklet we were given at this appointment, by the consultant a few weeks ago, when we should have been given it, then I would have gone in with a whole different frame of mind.
The upshot of it is, I am having a VBAC, unless something crops up on my growth scans or appointments between now and my due date.
I am surprisingly OK with this, Bongo still has a few worries, but we decided to get our heads around the idea, not stress about it, as we will go into labour and birth not mentally prepared for it, and that is the worst possible thing for any of us.
I am quite excited (yeah, I am mental) about the idea of being at home and going into labour, making all those calls to say it's started. I am also of the frame of mind, that I really do want to prove myself wrong, that I CAN DO THIS!! Or at least give this a damn good try!
I have a 5 in 1000 chance of my scar rupturing, so I will be monitired throughout labour, which is kind of annoying as well as reasurring. I am sure I will be one of these women who want to be mobile during labour, I will want to bathe, bounce on my birthing ball (which arrived today!!!) I cannot labour or give birth in our natural birthing unit, and I will be labouring in a room right next door to maternity theatre 'just in case'. I still have an issue with forceps, ventouse and an episiotomy, but I am coming round to the fact that if I am at 10cm and just can't push for whatever reason, they would rather do a forceps or ventouse delivery, than take me for a section, which is understandable.
I have another Consultant appointment after a growth scan on 1st October, and I will be discussing a few issues, such as my wonky cervix - will this affect dialation and birth? Can I be monitored being mobile, such as using a handheld doppler instead of the CTG machine if i want to bathe, and making it very very clear that if something, anything was to go wrong with me or the baby, that I pushed and pushed for an ELCS and was basically talked out of it.
So, I am at the stage, where we are thinking about our birthing plan. We will probably be writing two, one for a VBAC delivery and one for an ELCS, depending on if they change their mind at some point between now and 13th December.
I am also thinking about packing my hospital bag this week. I'm going to pack for a 24 hour stay VBAC and if I need anything else, either Bongo can bring it in or I can add it before we go to the hospital.
Charlie has also decided he would like to be at the hospital, but not actually watch me give birth!! I've always wanted to have him there, always wanted to have him close to me during this time. He really is my closest friend, support and I trust him more than anyone else in the world. He has grown up so much over the past 3 months and I think he will handle the situation well, it's completley up to him when the time comes if he wants to be there, and I am happy for him to be. (He has said that I am not allowed to shout at him when I have a pain though!!)
I'm so proud of my son, I really am. I honestly thought this would go the other way, he has had me all to himself for nearly 14 years, I thought the transition would be very very hard for him, but he has adjusted so well. I also make a point that if anyone buys anything for baby they are not to leave Charlie out! Even if it's just a sweet. I have sat him down and explained that there are things we need to buy that are essential for the baby, and I can't always buy the equivilent for him, and he told me to stop being so stupid, I don't have to keep making it up to him, I think he realises that I have tried very hard not to have him pushed out by all the baby talk, and things. I also explained Christmas will be very different, we can't afford to spend as much as we usually do and it will be very hectic with a new baby, and he really is very understanding.
We have also put up the Moses basket in the bedroom, just so the pets get used to it. I have lined it with tin foil (cats hate tin foil) and I have put the cat net over it. So far, so good and no one seems interested in it! It may be a different matter when there's a nice warm snuggly baby stinking of milk in there though! We are slowly trying to get the cat out of the bedroom, especially now she is used to the dog (it's only taken a year) so hopefully, we can mover her into Charlie's room/front room.
Another conversation has cropped up this week.......... contraception.
Now, I may come across as selfish here, but you never know what the future holds. We haven't thought about it, not really. We are just very very grateful for what we have right here, right now, and what Decemeber will bring.
But, I don't want to stick ANY hormones in my body afterwards, I have learned my lesson!! Especially that evil Depo!! IF, we decide one day to TTC again, i don't want to have to worry about any hormones that I have put in my body, so that rules out, the pill, implant, mirena coil and depo. I don't think having a coil in any way will be good, because of my cervix and (stupidly?) I worry about any internal damage it may cause. This leaves condoms, withdrawl method or abstinence? But to be honest, I hate condoms. And the last time we used them, when DRing for IVF, we managed to fuck that up, he put it on inside out and back to front!!! I know, I know, practice makes perfect, but it just doesn't feel the same does it? And I don't think he will be happy with abstinence!! HA Ha
So, on to this week. I have my GTT appointment tomorrow, I'm really not looking forward to that! I am not aloowed to eat or drink (except water) from 8pm tonight. I don't know how I'm going to do it! I'm such a pig at the moment!! I have to be at the hospital by 8am, they will take my fasting bloods, then I have to drink a glucose drink and then have ablood test again 2 hours later. The only saving grace is Bongo will be on standby with my order from the coffee cart of a latte with double shot of esspresso and almond syrup!! I had one evry morning on my way into work, so I know it's good stuff from there!!
I also have to have ablood test tomorrow to see how much Anti-D they need to give me on Friday. I almost need to take out a mortgage to pay the car parking fee's the amount of times I'm at this hospital in the next few weeks.
Well, that's about it for now. Although there is a very special person I would like to thank, just for being her. She knows who she is!! I love you so much and I'm so grateful to have you as my friend.
I have lost my belly button, if anyone finds it, can they return it please??
My bump seems to have 'dropped' since last week.
And I'm sure I am going to give birth to an octopus, she's all arms and legs and wriggly. She makes my whole belly move when she moves, I'm sure she's running out of room already!!
So, I had my VBAC clinic appointment last Wednesday, and I'm very confudeled about the whole business if I'm honest!
If I had just been given the information booklet we were given at this appointment, by the consultant a few weeks ago, when we should have been given it, then I would have gone in with a whole different frame of mind.
The upshot of it is, I am having a VBAC, unless something crops up on my growth scans or appointments between now and my due date.
I am surprisingly OK with this, Bongo still has a few worries, but we decided to get our heads around the idea, not stress about it, as we will go into labour and birth not mentally prepared for it, and that is the worst possible thing for any of us.
I am quite excited (yeah, I am mental) about the idea of being at home and going into labour, making all those calls to say it's started. I am also of the frame of mind, that I really do want to prove myself wrong, that I CAN DO THIS!! Or at least give this a damn good try!
I have a 5 in 1000 chance of my scar rupturing, so I will be monitired throughout labour, which is kind of annoying as well as reasurring. I am sure I will be one of these women who want to be mobile during labour, I will want to bathe, bounce on my birthing ball (which arrived today!!!) I cannot labour or give birth in our natural birthing unit, and I will be labouring in a room right next door to maternity theatre 'just in case'. I still have an issue with forceps, ventouse and an episiotomy, but I am coming round to the fact that if I am at 10cm and just can't push for whatever reason, they would rather do a forceps or ventouse delivery, than take me for a section, which is understandable.
I have another Consultant appointment after a growth scan on 1st October, and I will be discussing a few issues, such as my wonky cervix - will this affect dialation and birth? Can I be monitored being mobile, such as using a handheld doppler instead of the CTG machine if i want to bathe, and making it very very clear that if something, anything was to go wrong with me or the baby, that I pushed and pushed for an ELCS and was basically talked out of it.
So, I am at the stage, where we are thinking about our birthing plan. We will probably be writing two, one for a VBAC delivery and one for an ELCS, depending on if they change their mind at some point between now and 13th December.
I am also thinking about packing my hospital bag this week. I'm going to pack for a 24 hour stay VBAC and if I need anything else, either Bongo can bring it in or I can add it before we go to the hospital.
Charlie has also decided he would like to be at the hospital, but not actually watch me give birth!! I've always wanted to have him there, always wanted to have him close to me during this time. He really is my closest friend, support and I trust him more than anyone else in the world. He has grown up so much over the past 3 months and I think he will handle the situation well, it's completley up to him when the time comes if he wants to be there, and I am happy for him to be. (He has said that I am not allowed to shout at him when I have a pain though!!)
I'm so proud of my son, I really am. I honestly thought this would go the other way, he has had me all to himself for nearly 14 years, I thought the transition would be very very hard for him, but he has adjusted so well. I also make a point that if anyone buys anything for baby they are not to leave Charlie out! Even if it's just a sweet. I have sat him down and explained that there are things we need to buy that are essential for the baby, and I can't always buy the equivilent for him, and he told me to stop being so stupid, I don't have to keep making it up to him, I think he realises that I have tried very hard not to have him pushed out by all the baby talk, and things. I also explained Christmas will be very different, we can't afford to spend as much as we usually do and it will be very hectic with a new baby, and he really is very understanding.
We have also put up the Moses basket in the bedroom, just so the pets get used to it. I have lined it with tin foil (cats hate tin foil) and I have put the cat net over it. So far, so good and no one seems interested in it! It may be a different matter when there's a nice warm snuggly baby stinking of milk in there though! We are slowly trying to get the cat out of the bedroom, especially now she is used to the dog (it's only taken a year) so hopefully, we can mover her into Charlie's room/front room.
Another conversation has cropped up this week.......... contraception.
Now, I may come across as selfish here, but you never know what the future holds. We haven't thought about it, not really. We are just very very grateful for what we have right here, right now, and what Decemeber will bring.
But, I don't want to stick ANY hormones in my body afterwards, I have learned my lesson!! Especially that evil Depo!! IF, we decide one day to TTC again, i don't want to have to worry about any hormones that I have put in my body, so that rules out, the pill, implant, mirena coil and depo. I don't think having a coil in any way will be good, because of my cervix and (stupidly?) I worry about any internal damage it may cause. This leaves condoms, withdrawl method or abstinence? But to be honest, I hate condoms. And the last time we used them, when DRing for IVF, we managed to fuck that up, he put it on inside out and back to front!!! I know, I know, practice makes perfect, but it just doesn't feel the same does it? And I don't think he will be happy with abstinence!! HA Ha
So, on to this week. I have my GTT appointment tomorrow, I'm really not looking forward to that! I am not aloowed to eat or drink (except water) from 8pm tonight. I don't know how I'm going to do it! I'm such a pig at the moment!! I have to be at the hospital by 8am, they will take my fasting bloods, then I have to drink a glucose drink and then have ablood test again 2 hours later. The only saving grace is Bongo will be on standby with my order from the coffee cart of a latte with double shot of esspresso and almond syrup!! I had one evry morning on my way into work, so I know it's good stuff from there!!
I also have to have ablood test tomorrow to see how much Anti-D they need to give me on Friday. I almost need to take out a mortgage to pay the car parking fee's the amount of times I'm at this hospital in the next few weeks.
Well, that's about it for now. Although there is a very special person I would like to thank, just for being her. She knows who she is!! I love you so much and I'm so grateful to have you as my friend.
Monday 2 September 2013
25 weeks 3 days Midwife Appointment
Fucking excellent.
Diagnosed with SPD. I have to rest and have physio.
Even more excellent - if I have another episode of "Braxton hicks" like I did Saturday night, I am to ring triage at the labour ward and go in and be checked and monitored.
Ok, I'm not panicking in the slightest. Nope, I'm really not. Honestly.
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