Another quick update, as I would like to reply to everyone's lovely comments as one.
We have talked about the possibility of having more children, no contraception, what will be will be. Although we are not getting any younger!
I know I really just cannot allow my frosties to perish, I have to find the money from somewhere, but we are still undecided on if we would ever use them? My reasoning is, that what, if in two years time, I have the strong urge to have another baby again, I know they are there.
We also both feel very selfish for feeling that way, when a few of our friends are still struggling and fighting for the chance to just have one. I haven't felt able to discuss this before now, because I feel very guilty towards my friends who are still in no-mans-land, still fighting, still hurting and still yearning for that BFP.
I feel very protective over my little frosties. They are my babies. I feel by letting them perish, it would be akin to telling them that I just don't need them anymore.
I will find this money for another years storage (awful word to use when discussing my embryo's). I have to. As one of you said, I went through so much to get them.
In other news.
I need bubble wrap. For me. I need locking up until this baby is born, in a padded room where I can come to no harm.
We live on an estate full of what I can only describe as scum! Alcoholics, drug addicts, drug dealers, woman beaters, we have the police and/or an ambulance here at least 3 times a week.
Now I know my darling Sophie has got to be a big girl, and she's still pretty puppy like and not so great around other dogs, I am not saying she's an angel at all. So Bongo has trained her very well , he takes her out before he leaves for work, and the first thing he does when he gets home is to take her out again. Since being pregnant, this has worked great, she never needs or asks me to go out.
We have this alcoholic woman in the next block, who has a little (jack Russell) terrier the same age as Sophie, but I swear, it's the devil dog. Typical Jack Russell traits, very snappy, jumpy, quite aggressive Every time she walks it, you hear it barking and being aggressive towards other dogs. She's horrible. Her dog is horrible.
Anyway, yesterday, for some reason, literally half hour before Bongo was due to walk through the door, Sophie was asking me if she could go out. She must have been desperate, bless her, so I stick my boots on and a wooly cardigan as it had been raining pretty bad all day and was cold. I would just take her out the gate to do her business, then bring her straight back in, so she has relief but Bongo can still give her, her exercise when he gets in. The first time in months I have had to take her out.
As soon as I get out the gate, she has a tinkle and was about to turn and walk back in, and round the corner comes the old alcoholic and the devil dog. I say immediately, 'sorry, I can't stop and talk, this is the first time I've taken her out in ages as I'm worried about her pulling, as I only have 8 weeks left until I give birth', she walked around me, blocked the gate and said 'oh, just let them say hello for two minutes', I couldn't get past her or do anything, but stand on the grass next to the pathway and hope and pray that Sophie doesn't pull me over. Then her fucking dog started jumping, snarling and snapping at Sophie, Sophie has then darted, pulling me arse over tit, and I couldn't get a grip on the ground with my boots as I was on wet muddy grass next to the path, straight onto my bum and leg (thankfully) I think I took most of the impact in my hand, but I landed on the concrete ground. This fucking woman, just stood there looking at me sprawled on the floor and just said 'oh you need to be more careful in future'. She didn't offer to help me up or anything. I got up and tried coming in doors, but she still insisted on blocking my way and trying to talk to me about my pregnancy! I was trying to be polite and say I will catch up with her another time (not in my bloody lifetime!) but all I wanted to do was get in and ring Bongo.
I finally managed to get in. Poor Sophie got the raw end of the deal and took a telling off, although it really wasn't her fault at all. I couldn't stop crying, I was in shock and totally embarrassed that I had fallen over in front of neighbours (who not one of them stopped to help, but my bump was pretty well hidden, so I can't bitch about them not helping a pregnant woman)
My leg is bruised, as is my hand. But I think where I landed on my bum as well, it has sent the impact to my pelvis (which is already bad due to SPD and my UTI) I can't walk today at all, I can't get in and out of bed. I have NEVER NEVER felt pain like this. It feels like someone is smashing at my pelvis with a sledgehammer, even the skin is sore. I can't put any weight on my left leg as it sends pain all the way through my pelvis (my left is the side I fell on)
Cora-Jane is just fine. She knew mummy needed reassurance straight away and has been a little wriggle bum ever since. I will go and get it checked out at the labour ward triage if the pain is still there 24 hours after the initial fall. But mothers intuition tells me everything is fine. And I do think some of the pain is the UTI (which the hospital failed to contact me about yesterday).
Everyone is really angry at the woman, mostly for not helping me get up, but also because I had told her to please just let me get my dog in and she insisted on standing there and allowing her dog to wind Sophie up. Bongo said he will be having words when he sees her next. My friend wanted to come round and go knock on her door and tell her off!
Charlie has now offered to come around after school everyday and take Sophie out 'just in case'. Even he said if he see's her, he's going to kick her!! I don't condone violence in my children at all, but all I could think was 'bless him', because I know he doesn't mean it, he wouldn't actually do it, he's just very very protective of me and his sister. And he's willing to get into trouble with his dad to help me out, by coming here straight after school and not straight to his dads.
So if I end up at the hospital again tonight, i will update again as soon as possible!
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