It just seems to be going from bad to worse!
I ended up seeing the bitch doctor, who didn't take me seriously even though I showed her the pathology report. So she didn't give me antibiotics. She wasn't interested in my fall and said I just need to manage my diabetes better and I won't feel so ill. So I'm still here feeling rougher than a badgers arse, drinking plenty of water and cranberry to try and flush this infection.
And then my cooker decided to blow up last night! Blew all the electrics in the house, we managed to isolate the cooker fuse and have electric back apart from one wall in the kitchen, which I forgot about when going to make breakfast this morning. I ended up having to lug the toaster and microwave across the kitchen to cook my breakfast! It's no good not having a cooker! I'm supposed to be eating healthy! Let's not even go into the cost of buying a new cooker just before the baby is due and Christmas being round the corner!!
Then I managed to get the tumble dryer stuck on low heat setting, so everything is taking an age to dry!!
But I'm fine!! Honestly!! *manic laughing*
Thursday, 17 October 2013
Wednesday, 16 October 2013
Off to the Doctors
So, I'm off to the doctors this afternoon.
I am taking a bag with pyjamas etc in, just in case I am admitted.
I had a very bad diabetic hypo last night. No warning whatsoever.
I was in a stressful situation, I had to move my old car, but it wouldn't start, which was pissing me off, I then drove to my mums on my own, decided I didn't like where I had parked and moved the car, then went into my mums. I told her and my dad I didn't feel too great, but was just stressed out and cold (because I was shivering), Mum made me a cup of tea with a sugar, (me not realising what she was picking up on) this made me no better, I ate a biscuit, still no better, my Dad then made me do my blood reading on his machine, I was 2.2. Then it all just went a bit weird. I remember throwing the machine at my Dad and saying 'well that will fucking do it' and walking into the kitchen to try and find something to eat to get my sugars back up again. Luckily, my Mum trailed behind me feeding me cereal bars and milk and made me finish the sweet tea. My Bloods went back up to 6.6, but physically, I don't even feel any better now. I felt spaced out, my brain felt fuzzy, I could only see out of one eye, shaking, nauseous and just acting really weird! Apparently my friend rang while all this was going on and I was talking absolute shit to her!
So I rang the Doctors and explained everything, the receptionist wasn't going to gove me an appointment until Monday, until the Doctor said that it could possibly be the UTI affecting my diabetes. And if the infection is left untreated, it can be a contributing factor to pre-term labour. So why didn't that damn hospital give me antibiotics last Friday and why didn't they ring me back on Monday, why has it got to this point where I have got really ill before anyone will see me or take me seriously?
Anyway, I will update later. Not sure if anyone's even reading anymore after all my drama!
I am taking a bag with pyjamas etc in, just in case I am admitted.
I had a very bad diabetic hypo last night. No warning whatsoever.
I was in a stressful situation, I had to move my old car, but it wouldn't start, which was pissing me off, I then drove to my mums on my own, decided I didn't like where I had parked and moved the car, then went into my mums. I told her and my dad I didn't feel too great, but was just stressed out and cold (because I was shivering), Mum made me a cup of tea with a sugar, (me not realising what she was picking up on) this made me no better, I ate a biscuit, still no better, my Dad then made me do my blood reading on his machine, I was 2.2. Then it all just went a bit weird. I remember throwing the machine at my Dad and saying 'well that will fucking do it' and walking into the kitchen to try and find something to eat to get my sugars back up again. Luckily, my Mum trailed behind me feeding me cereal bars and milk and made me finish the sweet tea. My Bloods went back up to 6.6, but physically, I don't even feel any better now. I felt spaced out, my brain felt fuzzy, I could only see out of one eye, shaking, nauseous and just acting really weird! Apparently my friend rang while all this was going on and I was talking absolute shit to her!
So I rang the Doctors and explained everything, the receptionist wasn't going to gove me an appointment until Monday, until the Doctor said that it could possibly be the UTI affecting my diabetes. And if the infection is left untreated, it can be a contributing factor to pre-term labour. So why didn't that damn hospital give me antibiotics last Friday and why didn't they ring me back on Monday, why has it got to this point where I have got really ill before anyone will see me or take me seriously?
Anyway, I will update later. Not sure if anyone's even reading anymore after all my drama!
Tuesday, 15 October 2013
31 Weeks 4 days
Another quick update, as I would like to reply to everyone's lovely comments as one.
We have talked about the possibility of having more children, no contraception, what will be will be. Although we are not getting any younger!
I know I really just cannot allow my frosties to perish, I have to find the money from somewhere, but we are still undecided on if we would ever use them? My reasoning is, that what, if in two years time, I have the strong urge to have another baby again, I know they are there.
We also both feel very selfish for feeling that way, when a few of our friends are still struggling and fighting for the chance to just have one. I haven't felt able to discuss this before now, because I feel very guilty towards my friends who are still in no-mans-land, still fighting, still hurting and still yearning for that BFP.
I feel very protective over my little frosties. They are my babies. I feel by letting them perish, it would be akin to telling them that I just don't need them anymore.
I will find this money for another years storage (awful word to use when discussing my embryo's). I have to. As one of you said, I went through so much to get them.
In other news.
I need bubble wrap. For me. I need locking up until this baby is born, in a padded room where I can come to no harm.
We live on an estate full of what I can only describe as scum! Alcoholics, drug addicts, drug dealers, woman beaters, we have the police and/or an ambulance here at least 3 times a week.
Now I know my darling Sophie has got to be a big girl, and she's still pretty puppy like and not so great around other dogs, I am not saying she's an angel at all. So Bongo has trained her very well , he takes her out before he leaves for work, and the first thing he does when he gets home is to take her out again. Since being pregnant, this has worked great, she never needs or asks me to go out.
We have this alcoholic woman in the next block, who has a little (jack Russell) terrier the same age as Sophie, but I swear, it's the devil dog. Typical Jack Russell traits, very snappy, jumpy, quite aggressive Every time she walks it, you hear it barking and being aggressive towards other dogs. She's horrible. Her dog is horrible.
Anyway, yesterday, for some reason, literally half hour before Bongo was due to walk through the door, Sophie was asking me if she could go out. She must have been desperate, bless her, so I stick my boots on and a wooly cardigan as it had been raining pretty bad all day and was cold. I would just take her out the gate to do her business, then bring her straight back in, so she has relief but Bongo can still give her, her exercise when he gets in. The first time in months I have had to take her out.
As soon as I get out the gate, she has a tinkle and was about to turn and walk back in, and round the corner comes the old alcoholic and the devil dog. I say immediately, 'sorry, I can't stop and talk, this is the first time I've taken her out in ages as I'm worried about her pulling, as I only have 8 weeks left until I give birth', she walked around me, blocked the gate and said 'oh, just let them say hello for two minutes', I couldn't get past her or do anything, but stand on the grass next to the pathway and hope and pray that Sophie doesn't pull me over. Then her fucking dog started jumping, snarling and snapping at Sophie, Sophie has then darted, pulling me arse over tit, and I couldn't get a grip on the ground with my boots as I was on wet muddy grass next to the path, straight onto my bum and leg (thankfully) I think I took most of the impact in my hand, but I landed on the concrete ground. This fucking woman, just stood there looking at me sprawled on the floor and just said 'oh you need to be more careful in future'. She didn't offer to help me up or anything. I got up and tried coming in doors, but she still insisted on blocking my way and trying to talk to me about my pregnancy! I was trying to be polite and say I will catch up with her another time (not in my bloody lifetime!) but all I wanted to do was get in and ring Bongo.
I finally managed to get in. Poor Sophie got the raw end of the deal and took a telling off, although it really wasn't her fault at all. I couldn't stop crying, I was in shock and totally embarrassed that I had fallen over in front of neighbours (who not one of them stopped to help, but my bump was pretty well hidden, so I can't bitch about them not helping a pregnant woman)
My leg is bruised, as is my hand. But I think where I landed on my bum as well, it has sent the impact to my pelvis (which is already bad due to SPD and my UTI) I can't walk today at all, I can't get in and out of bed. I have NEVER NEVER felt pain like this. It feels like someone is smashing at my pelvis with a sledgehammer, even the skin is sore. I can't put any weight on my left leg as it sends pain all the way through my pelvis (my left is the side I fell on)
Cora-Jane is just fine. She knew mummy needed reassurance straight away and has been a little wriggle bum ever since. I will go and get it checked out at the labour ward triage if the pain is still there 24 hours after the initial fall. But mothers intuition tells me everything is fine. And I do think some of the pain is the UTI (which the hospital failed to contact me about yesterday).
Everyone is really angry at the woman, mostly for not helping me get up, but also because I had told her to please just let me get my dog in and she insisted on standing there and allowing her dog to wind Sophie up. Bongo said he will be having words when he sees her next. My friend wanted to come round and go knock on her door and tell her off!
Charlie has now offered to come around after school everyday and take Sophie out 'just in case'. Even he said if he see's her, he's going to kick her!! I don't condone violence in my children at all, but all I could think was 'bless him', because I know he doesn't mean it, he wouldn't actually do it, he's just very very protective of me and his sister. And he's willing to get into trouble with his dad to help me out, by coming here straight after school and not straight to his dads.
So if I end up at the hospital again tonight, i will update again as soon as possible!
We have talked about the possibility of having more children, no contraception, what will be will be. Although we are not getting any younger!
I know I really just cannot allow my frosties to perish, I have to find the money from somewhere, but we are still undecided on if we would ever use them? My reasoning is, that what, if in two years time, I have the strong urge to have another baby again, I know they are there.
We also both feel very selfish for feeling that way, when a few of our friends are still struggling and fighting for the chance to just have one. I haven't felt able to discuss this before now, because I feel very guilty towards my friends who are still in no-mans-land, still fighting, still hurting and still yearning for that BFP.
I feel very protective over my little frosties. They are my babies. I feel by letting them perish, it would be akin to telling them that I just don't need them anymore.
I will find this money for another years storage (awful word to use when discussing my embryo's). I have to. As one of you said, I went through so much to get them.
In other news.
I need bubble wrap. For me. I need locking up until this baby is born, in a padded room where I can come to no harm.
We live on an estate full of what I can only describe as scum! Alcoholics, drug addicts, drug dealers, woman beaters, we have the police and/or an ambulance here at least 3 times a week.
Now I know my darling Sophie has got to be a big girl, and she's still pretty puppy like and not so great around other dogs, I am not saying she's an angel at all. So Bongo has trained her very well , he takes her out before he leaves for work, and the first thing he does when he gets home is to take her out again. Since being pregnant, this has worked great, she never needs or asks me to go out.
We have this alcoholic woman in the next block, who has a little (jack Russell) terrier the same age as Sophie, but I swear, it's the devil dog. Typical Jack Russell traits, very snappy, jumpy, quite aggressive Every time she walks it, you hear it barking and being aggressive towards other dogs. She's horrible. Her dog is horrible.
Anyway, yesterday, for some reason, literally half hour before Bongo was due to walk through the door, Sophie was asking me if she could go out. She must have been desperate, bless her, so I stick my boots on and a wooly cardigan as it had been raining pretty bad all day and was cold. I would just take her out the gate to do her business, then bring her straight back in, so she has relief but Bongo can still give her, her exercise when he gets in. The first time in months I have had to take her out.
As soon as I get out the gate, she has a tinkle and was about to turn and walk back in, and round the corner comes the old alcoholic and the devil dog. I say immediately, 'sorry, I can't stop and talk, this is the first time I've taken her out in ages as I'm worried about her pulling, as I only have 8 weeks left until I give birth', she walked around me, blocked the gate and said 'oh, just let them say hello for two minutes', I couldn't get past her or do anything, but stand on the grass next to the pathway and hope and pray that Sophie doesn't pull me over. Then her fucking dog started jumping, snarling and snapping at Sophie, Sophie has then darted, pulling me arse over tit, and I couldn't get a grip on the ground with my boots as I was on wet muddy grass next to the path, straight onto my bum and leg (thankfully) I think I took most of the impact in my hand, but I landed on the concrete ground. This fucking woman, just stood there looking at me sprawled on the floor and just said 'oh you need to be more careful in future'. She didn't offer to help me up or anything. I got up and tried coming in doors, but she still insisted on blocking my way and trying to talk to me about my pregnancy! I was trying to be polite and say I will catch up with her another time (not in my bloody lifetime!) but all I wanted to do was get in and ring Bongo.
I finally managed to get in. Poor Sophie got the raw end of the deal and took a telling off, although it really wasn't her fault at all. I couldn't stop crying, I was in shock and totally embarrassed that I had fallen over in front of neighbours (who not one of them stopped to help, but my bump was pretty well hidden, so I can't bitch about them not helping a pregnant woman)
My leg is bruised, as is my hand. But I think where I landed on my bum as well, it has sent the impact to my pelvis (which is already bad due to SPD and my UTI) I can't walk today at all, I can't get in and out of bed. I have NEVER NEVER felt pain like this. It feels like someone is smashing at my pelvis with a sledgehammer, even the skin is sore. I can't put any weight on my left leg as it sends pain all the way through my pelvis (my left is the side I fell on)
Cora-Jane is just fine. She knew mummy needed reassurance straight away and has been a little wriggle bum ever since. I will go and get it checked out at the labour ward triage if the pain is still there 24 hours after the initial fall. But mothers intuition tells me everything is fine. And I do think some of the pain is the UTI (which the hospital failed to contact me about yesterday).
Everyone is really angry at the woman, mostly for not helping me get up, but also because I had told her to please just let me get my dog in and she insisted on standing there and allowing her dog to wind Sophie up. Bongo said he will be having words when he sees her next. My friend wanted to come round and go knock on her door and tell her off!
Charlie has now offered to come around after school everyday and take Sophie out 'just in case'. Even he said if he see's her, he's going to kick her!! I don't condone violence in my children at all, but all I could think was 'bless him', because I know he doesn't mean it, he wouldn't actually do it, he's just very very protective of me and his sister. And he's willing to get into trouble with his dad to help me out, by coming here straight after school and not straight to his dads.
So if I end up at the hospital again tonight, i will update again as soon as possible!
Sunday, 13 October 2013
31 Weeks 2 days
Agh, I've been so crap at updating!
But I've had so much going on, so many appointments I'm surprised I haven't been allocated my own VIP parking space at the hospital!
Here's my 31 week bump! Ha Ha! Another 9 weeks of growing, I have no idea where she's going to make room, I'm full of baby already!
So, back to my appointments.
We had our growth scan and consultant appointment on 1st October. We had that horrible sonographer who done my dating scan, she quickly done what she needed to do, didn't show us anything or take her time, she was very grumpy and snappy as usual. When she asked us to wait outside so she could write the report up, Bongo had asked her to print off a growth chart that our midwife had asked us to grab while at the hospital and she refused point blank to do it. So while she's writing the report, the other sonographer who I usually see comes out and asks how we are and how things are going. We then get called in to pick the report up, and she looks at the chart and says she needs to check some measurements from my last scan, which obviously worried us, but she didn't elaborate, gave us our scan report to go and see the consultant and said everything looks 'fine'. I asked her if the baby is big and she just looked at me like I was mad and sent me on my way!
So we went to see the consultant, my urine was checked as standard procedure, and they find a trace of protien in my urine. Excellent. I also thought my blood pressure would be up because I've had a shit few days beforehand with Charlie's dad being a knob, but thats a whole other story!
In we go to see the consultant, and she agrees straight away to me having an ELCS, Bongo is still sat there trying to argue points with her, bless him, until I said to him 'she has just agreed!', but they can't book electives until 33 weeks, so I am to go back for my growth scan and another appointment on 29th October and they will book my ELCS!! She re-checked my blood pressure, which surprisngly came back perfect, so told me not to worry about the protein trace.
4th October
My diabetes had completley gone out of control, I can't get the bloody readings within target no matter how little I eat, how ridgedly I stick to the eating plan, so I was called into hospital to start on insulin injections. A plan was made, 2 units before breakfast, 2 units before dinner, and I am to call them in 4 days time to see how things are and if my dose needs adjusting. BUT, there is no one there to write my script out, so they wrote me a letter to take to my GP surgery and get them to do my script immediatly. So off I walk the mile to the doctors and pratically beg the receptionist to get the script written out for me, she told me to go and wait in the waiting room. An hour later she pops her head round with my script!! So I walk into town and go to the pharmacy who tells me they don't have the vials in and would need to order them (a lot of our pharmacies don't actually stock insulin and order them in for the next day) so I told her not to worry, I will try somewhere else. As I'm walking out the shop I realise............ VIALS???? It's supposed to be a KwikPen!!! I rang my mum, burst into tears in the middle of town and told her I just can't cope anymore! She told me she was coming to meet me and to meet her at our usual meeting spot and she would take me back to the doctors to get this sorted. As I am standing on the pavement away from the road waiting for my mum, tears and snot down my face some woman decides she wants to turn her car around, drives straight at me and mounts the kerb in her massive Mercededes estate, if I hadn't have jumped out the way, I'd have been crushed agaist a wall. She had miles of road to turn around, she could have reversed aroiund a corner, but oh no, she decides to drive straight at the pregnant woman and mounts the pavement to run me over in the process (she should have done a 3 point turn if she really desperayly needed to turn round right there) Well, you can imagine the foul abuse that came out my mouth! How I didn't drag her out the car and batter the living shit out of her is anyones guess!!
So anyway, my mum arrives, takes me to the doctors and it turns out it was the most incompetent doctor in the surgery who had written my prescription out, no one I know will see her because she is just an idiot! She had wriiten the needles for the KwikPen on my script, but put vials of insulin instead of the pen. It doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to work out that KwikPen needles do not go on vials does it?? My script is changed, but by this time its 16.30pm, where the hell will I get the insulin now?? I told mum to take me home and I would just get Bongo to drive me round all the pharacies in the supermarkets tonight and if they have to order it in for tomorrow then so be it. But we were driving past the little independant pharmacy near my house and luckily they had it all in for me!!
But my bloods still haven't settled, so I rang Tuesday and they put my insulin up in the evening to 4 untits. And I haven't been feeling at all well, I have really bad backache around my kidney on the left side and my bladder aches all the time. I just know I have a UTI, but can't get a god damn doctors appointment.
7th October
I went and had my whooping cough vaccine. OUCHY is all I can say, for two days afterwards it felt like someone had been trying to hack my am off with a blunt axe, you would think I was used to all these needles, but Jesus, this one hurts like a bitch!!
11th October
Today we have Diabetic Ante-Natal clinic. For some reason, my agoraphobia is really bad today, I'm restless, I feel ill, I just want out of here!!
I am taken in to see the midwife, who runs a urine analysis, I do indeed have a UTI and am told to drink Cranberry juice over the weekend and I will get a call Monday if I need to get antibiotics from my GP (Ha, Ha!) I also have 1+ for protien and 1+ for ketones, which I was expecting as my sugar levels are still high even though I have increased my dose of insulin! I was fully expecting to be admitted as an inpatient due to all these problems.
I was then taken into another room where all the doctors and nurses would come and see me instead of waiting in the waiting room and keep being called in by different people, this system seemed to work really well. First of all I saw the diabetic doctor and nurse who have again increased my insulin! Then the dietician came in and spoke to me, who was really helpful about the high reading I had had the previous lunch time after a prawn and pasta salad. Then the ante-natal team came in to see me. I saw the top top man, a really really nice bloke, but you could tell from his prescence he just demanded respect!! I am measuring 32 weeks, so bang on target really, he also asked how I would like to give birth and I said ELCS, he asked if I had been booked yet and I said no they wouldn't book it until 33 weeks and I have an apppintment on 29th for that. He tutted and said don't worry, I'll book it now, he filled in the form in front of me and wrote in my notes that I will be booked for 39 weeks for an ELCS, he asked for my phone number, so they will be ringing me with a date. If they do it at 39 weeks, it will be 6th December!! I was also told that if I go into labour before my date, I am to go straight to labour ward and I will have an EMCS, I am so relieved to finally NOT have to fight for this.
I still have to have multiple appointments at the diabetic clinic, scans for growth and consultant appointments, but I am glad I'm being so well looked after.
But I've given myself a new worry!! We have severe weather warnings for this winter, starting from next month!! I'm so worried about if I go into labour and have to try and get to the hospital before she decidedes to just pop out!!
Bongo's work is a nightmare to get hold of anyone, there is never anyone on the switchboard for me to be put through to his unit, and the only direct line into his unit is his Gov. office and she always keeps that locked! Obviously he can't have his mobile phone with him at work, so I have a panic on already about not being able to get hold of him!!! Mum's 10 mins away and is always around, I have friends and family on standby, but I will just want Bongo!!
That's all I can think of that has happened so far! Sorry for the long post.
I can't believe in 8 weeks, I'm going to be holding my princess in my arms. It's flown by. As much as I can't wait to hold her, I also want to enjoy every moment of being pregnant, I will probably never feel a baby kick in my belly again (or my bum as she quite likes to kick my arse!).
My year is also up on my funding for my frozen babies, and I'm getting worried. I just don't have the money right now to pay the year fee to keep them, what with paying for all the baby stuff and Christmas coming up. Looks like I will be taking my begging bowl to my sister!! Am I selfish for wanting to keep them? I just can't let them go.
But I've had so much going on, so many appointments I'm surprised I haven't been allocated my own VIP parking space at the hospital!
So, back to my appointments.
We had our growth scan and consultant appointment on 1st October. We had that horrible sonographer who done my dating scan, she quickly done what she needed to do, didn't show us anything or take her time, she was very grumpy and snappy as usual. When she asked us to wait outside so she could write the report up, Bongo had asked her to print off a growth chart that our midwife had asked us to grab while at the hospital and she refused point blank to do it. So while she's writing the report, the other sonographer who I usually see comes out and asks how we are and how things are going. We then get called in to pick the report up, and she looks at the chart and says she needs to check some measurements from my last scan, which obviously worried us, but she didn't elaborate, gave us our scan report to go and see the consultant and said everything looks 'fine'. I asked her if the baby is big and she just looked at me like I was mad and sent me on my way!
So we went to see the consultant, my urine was checked as standard procedure, and they find a trace of protien in my urine. Excellent. I also thought my blood pressure would be up because I've had a shit few days beforehand with Charlie's dad being a knob, but thats a whole other story!
In we go to see the consultant, and she agrees straight away to me having an ELCS, Bongo is still sat there trying to argue points with her, bless him, until I said to him 'she has just agreed!', but they can't book electives until 33 weeks, so I am to go back for my growth scan and another appointment on 29th October and they will book my ELCS!! She re-checked my blood pressure, which surprisngly came back perfect, so told me not to worry about the protein trace.
4th October
My diabetes had completley gone out of control, I can't get the bloody readings within target no matter how little I eat, how ridgedly I stick to the eating plan, so I was called into hospital to start on insulin injections. A plan was made, 2 units before breakfast, 2 units before dinner, and I am to call them in 4 days time to see how things are and if my dose needs adjusting. BUT, there is no one there to write my script out, so they wrote me a letter to take to my GP surgery and get them to do my script immediatly. So off I walk the mile to the doctors and pratically beg the receptionist to get the script written out for me, she told me to go and wait in the waiting room. An hour later she pops her head round with my script!! So I walk into town and go to the pharmacy who tells me they don't have the vials in and would need to order them (a lot of our pharmacies don't actually stock insulin and order them in for the next day) so I told her not to worry, I will try somewhere else. As I'm walking out the shop I realise............ VIALS???? It's supposed to be a KwikPen!!! I rang my mum, burst into tears in the middle of town and told her I just can't cope anymore! She told me she was coming to meet me and to meet her at our usual meeting spot and she would take me back to the doctors to get this sorted. As I am standing on the pavement away from the road waiting for my mum, tears and snot down my face some woman decides she wants to turn her car around, drives straight at me and mounts the kerb in her massive Mercededes estate, if I hadn't have jumped out the way, I'd have been crushed agaist a wall. She had miles of road to turn around, she could have reversed aroiund a corner, but oh no, she decides to drive straight at the pregnant woman and mounts the pavement to run me over in the process (she should have done a 3 point turn if she really desperayly needed to turn round right there) Well, you can imagine the foul abuse that came out my mouth! How I didn't drag her out the car and batter the living shit out of her is anyones guess!!
So anyway, my mum arrives, takes me to the doctors and it turns out it was the most incompetent doctor in the surgery who had written my prescription out, no one I know will see her because she is just an idiot! She had wriiten the needles for the KwikPen on my script, but put vials of insulin instead of the pen. It doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to work out that KwikPen needles do not go on vials does it?? My script is changed, but by this time its 16.30pm, where the hell will I get the insulin now?? I told mum to take me home and I would just get Bongo to drive me round all the pharacies in the supermarkets tonight and if they have to order it in for tomorrow then so be it. But we were driving past the little independant pharmacy near my house and luckily they had it all in for me!!
But my bloods still haven't settled, so I rang Tuesday and they put my insulin up in the evening to 4 untits. And I haven't been feeling at all well, I have really bad backache around my kidney on the left side and my bladder aches all the time. I just know I have a UTI, but can't get a god damn doctors appointment.
7th October
I went and had my whooping cough vaccine. OUCHY is all I can say, for two days afterwards it felt like someone had been trying to hack my am off with a blunt axe, you would think I was used to all these needles, but Jesus, this one hurts like a bitch!!
11th October
Today we have Diabetic Ante-Natal clinic. For some reason, my agoraphobia is really bad today, I'm restless, I feel ill, I just want out of here!!
I am taken in to see the midwife, who runs a urine analysis, I do indeed have a UTI and am told to drink Cranberry juice over the weekend and I will get a call Monday if I need to get antibiotics from my GP (Ha, Ha!) I also have 1+ for protien and 1+ for ketones, which I was expecting as my sugar levels are still high even though I have increased my dose of insulin! I was fully expecting to be admitted as an inpatient due to all these problems.
I was then taken into another room where all the doctors and nurses would come and see me instead of waiting in the waiting room and keep being called in by different people, this system seemed to work really well. First of all I saw the diabetic doctor and nurse who have again increased my insulin! Then the dietician came in and spoke to me, who was really helpful about the high reading I had had the previous lunch time after a prawn and pasta salad. Then the ante-natal team came in to see me. I saw the top top man, a really really nice bloke, but you could tell from his prescence he just demanded respect!! I am measuring 32 weeks, so bang on target really, he also asked how I would like to give birth and I said ELCS, he asked if I had been booked yet and I said no they wouldn't book it until 33 weeks and I have an apppintment on 29th for that. He tutted and said don't worry, I'll book it now, he filled in the form in front of me and wrote in my notes that I will be booked for 39 weeks for an ELCS, he asked for my phone number, so they will be ringing me with a date. If they do it at 39 weeks, it will be 6th December!! I was also told that if I go into labour before my date, I am to go straight to labour ward and I will have an EMCS, I am so relieved to finally NOT have to fight for this.
I still have to have multiple appointments at the diabetic clinic, scans for growth and consultant appointments, but I am glad I'm being so well looked after.
But I've given myself a new worry!! We have severe weather warnings for this winter, starting from next month!! I'm so worried about if I go into labour and have to try and get to the hospital before she decidedes to just pop out!!
Bongo's work is a nightmare to get hold of anyone, there is never anyone on the switchboard for me to be put through to his unit, and the only direct line into his unit is his Gov. office and she always keeps that locked! Obviously he can't have his mobile phone with him at work, so I have a panic on already about not being able to get hold of him!!! Mum's 10 mins away and is always around, I have friends and family on standby, but I will just want Bongo!!
That's all I can think of that has happened so far! Sorry for the long post.
I can't believe in 8 weeks, I'm going to be holding my princess in my arms. It's flown by. As much as I can't wait to hold her, I also want to enjoy every moment of being pregnant, I will probably never feel a baby kick in my belly again (or my bum as she quite likes to kick my arse!).
My year is also up on my funding for my frozen babies, and I'm getting worried. I just don't have the money right now to pay the year fee to keep them, what with paying for all the baby stuff and Christmas coming up. Looks like I will be taking my begging bowl to my sister!! Am I selfish for wanting to keep them? I just can't let them go.
Saturday, 21 September 2013
What a week!
So, my birthing ball arrived! I can't even begin to tell you how much just bopping about on my ball has helped with the SPD! Best £30 spent this pregnancy so far!
I had my GTT Wednesday, I was the most awful, grumpiest, hungriest person in the whole world. It's a brave brave person who will deal with me at 8am when I haven't even had a coffee, it's an even braver person who allows their husband to sit next to me in a clinic waiting room full of women who are fasting to sit and eat a packet of prawn cocktail crisps right under my nose!
I want to give a big shout out to the staff at my Fetal Assessment Unit who are such wonderful, lovely caring ladies! They are amazing and so helpful. I told the nurse doing my bloods our story, the 12 year wait, the failed IVF and then the surprise spontaneous pregnancy, and she almost burst into tears and was so happy for us!
They also took my routine 28 week bloods whilst there and had to check my antibody levels to see what dose Anti-D I would need on Friday.
When we left the hospital, we went straight to Starbucks and I got my Latte with a double shot of espresso and almond syrup. When we got home and I had my first sip, along with a pain Au chocolate, Bongo said it sounded like I was having an orgasm and even the cat came strolling out of the bedroom to see what all the fuss was about!! Then I stuffed my face with a fried egg and mushroom sandwich, but alas, there will be no more of that..........
We went back to the hospital yesterday for me to have my Anti-D, but it had been sent to the wrong site of the hospital 15 miles away, the fantastic midwife rang down to pharmacy and had them immediately bring me the correct dose! Within 10 mins, I was sat with the massive needle in my arm! She was gave the big speech about not looking, so I told her after IVF meds, this was a walk in the park and she said 'Oh, your the lady! We heard your story Wednesday, everyone in the unit is thrilled for you! Congratulations!' Which was lovely!
Then the bad news, I am anaemic, so have been prescribed Ferrous Sulphate tablets. I was anaemic when pregnant with Charlie and I know from experience that these tablets make me as sick as a dog. I ended up swapping to a natural Iron source called SpaTone. I started taking my tablets last night, and you guessed it, I've been pig sick ever since. So I am going to take SpaTone in the mornings and the Ferrous Sulphate in the evenings when I can handle feeling rough a bit better.
I was also diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. We kind of knew this was going to happen, after my funky blood readings back in 1st Tri. I am so angry at the nurse from my doctors surgery who shouted at me when I rang to discuss after having a hypo. She told me I was being silly and shouldn't have been checking my blood sugar levels as i was only worrying myself for no reason and I was wasting everyones time and shouldn't even have a blood glucose monitor. She should have listened and taken me seriously. I will be making a complaint.
So, I have diabetic clinic on Tuesday as well as midwife to pick up my equipment, see the nutritionist and learn about my diet. Hopefully it will just be diet controlled, but of course, if I need insulin, it will be no biggy to me injecting myself multiple times a day again!
It may very well go in my favour now about having a ELCS, babies tend to be bigger in mothers who have GD which would also mean a higher chance of her having a shoulder dystocia if I am to have a VBAC (which has always been my fear), and also, she may have to be taken to Special Care straight after birth for a couple of hours just to check her blood sugar levels are not too low. They will also not let me go over dates either and I would rather have an ELCS than be induced.
Also, I am having to use bum bullets again (suppositories) s I have hemorrhoid's. I hate these things! But they are getting quite uncomfortable now and the cream on its own just wasn't helping or relieving them.
So, all in all, it's been a shitty week for me, and I can't see the next couple of weeks getting any better. So many appointments coming up, but at least I get to see my little/big piglet again on the 1st October as I have a growth scan and an appointment with the Consultant. Hopefully they will just offer me a date for an ELCS. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
I had my GTT Wednesday, I was the most awful, grumpiest, hungriest person in the whole world. It's a brave brave person who will deal with me at 8am when I haven't even had a coffee, it's an even braver person who allows their husband to sit next to me in a clinic waiting room full of women who are fasting to sit and eat a packet of prawn cocktail crisps right under my nose!
I want to give a big shout out to the staff at my Fetal Assessment Unit who are such wonderful, lovely caring ladies! They are amazing and so helpful. I told the nurse doing my bloods our story, the 12 year wait, the failed IVF and then the surprise spontaneous pregnancy, and she almost burst into tears and was so happy for us!
They also took my routine 28 week bloods whilst there and had to check my antibody levels to see what dose Anti-D I would need on Friday.
When we left the hospital, we went straight to Starbucks and I got my Latte with a double shot of espresso and almond syrup. When we got home and I had my first sip, along with a pain Au chocolate, Bongo said it sounded like I was having an orgasm and even the cat came strolling out of the bedroom to see what all the fuss was about!! Then I stuffed my face with a fried egg and mushroom sandwich, but alas, there will be no more of that..........
We went back to the hospital yesterday for me to have my Anti-D, but it had been sent to the wrong site of the hospital 15 miles away, the fantastic midwife rang down to pharmacy and had them immediately bring me the correct dose! Within 10 mins, I was sat with the massive needle in my arm! She was gave the big speech about not looking, so I told her after IVF meds, this was a walk in the park and she said 'Oh, your the lady! We heard your story Wednesday, everyone in the unit is thrilled for you! Congratulations!' Which was lovely!
Then the bad news, I am anaemic, so have been prescribed Ferrous Sulphate tablets. I was anaemic when pregnant with Charlie and I know from experience that these tablets make me as sick as a dog. I ended up swapping to a natural Iron source called SpaTone. I started taking my tablets last night, and you guessed it, I've been pig sick ever since. So I am going to take SpaTone in the mornings and the Ferrous Sulphate in the evenings when I can handle feeling rough a bit better.
I was also diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. We kind of knew this was going to happen, after my funky blood readings back in 1st Tri. I am so angry at the nurse from my doctors surgery who shouted at me when I rang to discuss after having a hypo. She told me I was being silly and shouldn't have been checking my blood sugar levels as i was only worrying myself for no reason and I was wasting everyones time and shouldn't even have a blood glucose monitor. She should have listened and taken me seriously. I will be making a complaint.
So, I have diabetic clinic on Tuesday as well as midwife to pick up my equipment, see the nutritionist and learn about my diet. Hopefully it will just be diet controlled, but of course, if I need insulin, it will be no biggy to me injecting myself multiple times a day again!
It may very well go in my favour now about having a ELCS, babies tend to be bigger in mothers who have GD which would also mean a higher chance of her having a shoulder dystocia if I am to have a VBAC (which has always been my fear), and also, she may have to be taken to Special Care straight after birth for a couple of hours just to check her blood sugar levels are not too low. They will also not let me go over dates either and I would rather have an ELCS than be induced.
Also, I am having to use bum bullets again (suppositories) s I have hemorrhoid's. I hate these things! But they are getting quite uncomfortable now and the cream on its own just wasn't helping or relieving them.
So, all in all, it's been a shitty week for me, and I can't see the next couple of weeks getting any better. So many appointments coming up, but at least I get to see my little/big piglet again on the 1st October as I have a growth scan and an appointment with the Consultant. Hopefully they will just offer me a date for an ELCS. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
Tuesday, 17 September 2013
27 Weeks 4 Days
Lets get the pics out the way!
I have lost my belly button, if anyone finds it, can they return it please??
My bump seems to have 'dropped' since last week.
And I'm sure I am going to give birth to an octopus, she's all arms and legs and wriggly. She makes my whole belly move when she moves, I'm sure she's running out of room already!!
So, I had my VBAC clinic appointment last Wednesday, and I'm very confudeled about the whole business if I'm honest!
If I had just been given the information booklet we were given at this appointment, by the consultant a few weeks ago, when we should have been given it, then I would have gone in with a whole different frame of mind.
The upshot of it is, I am having a VBAC, unless something crops up on my growth scans or appointments between now and my due date.
I am surprisingly OK with this, Bongo still has a few worries, but we decided to get our heads around the idea, not stress about it, as we will go into labour and birth not mentally prepared for it, and that is the worst possible thing for any of us.
I am quite excited (yeah, I am mental) about the idea of being at home and going into labour, making all those calls to say it's started. I am also of the frame of mind, that I really do want to prove myself wrong, that I CAN DO THIS!! Or at least give this a damn good try!
I have a 5 in 1000 chance of my scar rupturing, so I will be monitired throughout labour, which is kind of annoying as well as reasurring. I am sure I will be one of these women who want to be mobile during labour, I will want to bathe, bounce on my birthing ball (which arrived today!!!) I cannot labour or give birth in our natural birthing unit, and I will be labouring in a room right next door to maternity theatre 'just in case'. I still have an issue with forceps, ventouse and an episiotomy, but I am coming round to the fact that if I am at 10cm and just can't push for whatever reason, they would rather do a forceps or ventouse delivery, than take me for a section, which is understandable.
I have another Consultant appointment after a growth scan on 1st October, and I will be discussing a few issues, such as my wonky cervix - will this affect dialation and birth? Can I be monitored being mobile, such as using a handheld doppler instead of the CTG machine if i want to bathe, and making it very very clear that if something, anything was to go wrong with me or the baby, that I pushed and pushed for an ELCS and was basically talked out of it.
So, I am at the stage, where we are thinking about our birthing plan. We will probably be writing two, one for a VBAC delivery and one for an ELCS, depending on if they change their mind at some point between now and 13th December.
I am also thinking about packing my hospital bag this week. I'm going to pack for a 24 hour stay VBAC and if I need anything else, either Bongo can bring it in or I can add it before we go to the hospital.
Charlie has also decided he would like to be at the hospital, but not actually watch me give birth!! I've always wanted to have him there, always wanted to have him close to me during this time. He really is my closest friend, support and I trust him more than anyone else in the world. He has grown up so much over the past 3 months and I think he will handle the situation well, it's completley up to him when the time comes if he wants to be there, and I am happy for him to be. (He has said that I am not allowed to shout at him when I have a pain though!!)
I'm so proud of my son, I really am. I honestly thought this would go the other way, he has had me all to himself for nearly 14 years, I thought the transition would be very very hard for him, but he has adjusted so well. I also make a point that if anyone buys anything for baby they are not to leave Charlie out! Even if it's just a sweet. I have sat him down and explained that there are things we need to buy that are essential for the baby, and I can't always buy the equivilent for him, and he told me to stop being so stupid, I don't have to keep making it up to him, I think he realises that I have tried very hard not to have him pushed out by all the baby talk, and things. I also explained Christmas will be very different, we can't afford to spend as much as we usually do and it will be very hectic with a new baby, and he really is very understanding.
We have also put up the Moses basket in the bedroom, just so the pets get used to it. I have lined it with tin foil (cats hate tin foil) and I have put the cat net over it. So far, so good and no one seems interested in it! It may be a different matter when there's a nice warm snuggly baby stinking of milk in there though! We are slowly trying to get the cat out of the bedroom, especially now she is used to the dog (it's only taken a year) so hopefully, we can mover her into Charlie's room/front room.
Another conversation has cropped up this week.......... contraception.
Now, I may come across as selfish here, but you never know what the future holds. We haven't thought about it, not really. We are just very very grateful for what we have right here, right now, and what Decemeber will bring.
But, I don't want to stick ANY hormones in my body afterwards, I have learned my lesson!! Especially that evil Depo!! IF, we decide one day to TTC again, i don't want to have to worry about any hormones that I have put in my body, so that rules out, the pill, implant, mirena coil and depo. I don't think having a coil in any way will be good, because of my cervix and (stupidly?) I worry about any internal damage it may cause. This leaves condoms, withdrawl method or abstinence? But to be honest, I hate condoms. And the last time we used them, when DRing for IVF, we managed to fuck that up, he put it on inside out and back to front!!! I know, I know, practice makes perfect, but it just doesn't feel the same does it? And I don't think he will be happy with abstinence!! HA Ha
So, on to this week. I have my GTT appointment tomorrow, I'm really not looking forward to that! I am not aloowed to eat or drink (except water) from 8pm tonight. I don't know how I'm going to do it! I'm such a pig at the moment!! I have to be at the hospital by 8am, they will take my fasting bloods, then I have to drink a glucose drink and then have ablood test again 2 hours later. The only saving grace is Bongo will be on standby with my order from the coffee cart of a latte with double shot of esspresso and almond syrup!! I had one evry morning on my way into work, so I know it's good stuff from there!!
I also have to have ablood test tomorrow to see how much Anti-D they need to give me on Friday. I almost need to take out a mortgage to pay the car parking fee's the amount of times I'm at this hospital in the next few weeks.
Well, that's about it for now. Although there is a very special person I would like to thank, just for being her. She knows who she is!! I love you so much and I'm so grateful to have you as my friend.
I have lost my belly button, if anyone finds it, can they return it please??
My bump seems to have 'dropped' since last week.
And I'm sure I am going to give birth to an octopus, she's all arms and legs and wriggly. She makes my whole belly move when she moves, I'm sure she's running out of room already!!
So, I had my VBAC clinic appointment last Wednesday, and I'm very confudeled about the whole business if I'm honest!
If I had just been given the information booklet we were given at this appointment, by the consultant a few weeks ago, when we should have been given it, then I would have gone in with a whole different frame of mind.
The upshot of it is, I am having a VBAC, unless something crops up on my growth scans or appointments between now and my due date.
I am surprisingly OK with this, Bongo still has a few worries, but we decided to get our heads around the idea, not stress about it, as we will go into labour and birth not mentally prepared for it, and that is the worst possible thing for any of us.
I am quite excited (yeah, I am mental) about the idea of being at home and going into labour, making all those calls to say it's started. I am also of the frame of mind, that I really do want to prove myself wrong, that I CAN DO THIS!! Or at least give this a damn good try!
I have a 5 in 1000 chance of my scar rupturing, so I will be monitired throughout labour, which is kind of annoying as well as reasurring. I am sure I will be one of these women who want to be mobile during labour, I will want to bathe, bounce on my birthing ball (which arrived today!!!) I cannot labour or give birth in our natural birthing unit, and I will be labouring in a room right next door to maternity theatre 'just in case'. I still have an issue with forceps, ventouse and an episiotomy, but I am coming round to the fact that if I am at 10cm and just can't push for whatever reason, they would rather do a forceps or ventouse delivery, than take me for a section, which is understandable.
I have another Consultant appointment after a growth scan on 1st October, and I will be discussing a few issues, such as my wonky cervix - will this affect dialation and birth? Can I be monitored being mobile, such as using a handheld doppler instead of the CTG machine if i want to bathe, and making it very very clear that if something, anything was to go wrong with me or the baby, that I pushed and pushed for an ELCS and was basically talked out of it.
So, I am at the stage, where we are thinking about our birthing plan. We will probably be writing two, one for a VBAC delivery and one for an ELCS, depending on if they change their mind at some point between now and 13th December.
I am also thinking about packing my hospital bag this week. I'm going to pack for a 24 hour stay VBAC and if I need anything else, either Bongo can bring it in or I can add it before we go to the hospital.
Charlie has also decided he would like to be at the hospital, but not actually watch me give birth!! I've always wanted to have him there, always wanted to have him close to me during this time. He really is my closest friend, support and I trust him more than anyone else in the world. He has grown up so much over the past 3 months and I think he will handle the situation well, it's completley up to him when the time comes if he wants to be there, and I am happy for him to be. (He has said that I am not allowed to shout at him when I have a pain though!!)
I'm so proud of my son, I really am. I honestly thought this would go the other way, he has had me all to himself for nearly 14 years, I thought the transition would be very very hard for him, but he has adjusted so well. I also make a point that if anyone buys anything for baby they are not to leave Charlie out! Even if it's just a sweet. I have sat him down and explained that there are things we need to buy that are essential for the baby, and I can't always buy the equivilent for him, and he told me to stop being so stupid, I don't have to keep making it up to him, I think he realises that I have tried very hard not to have him pushed out by all the baby talk, and things. I also explained Christmas will be very different, we can't afford to spend as much as we usually do and it will be very hectic with a new baby, and he really is very understanding.
We have also put up the Moses basket in the bedroom, just so the pets get used to it. I have lined it with tin foil (cats hate tin foil) and I have put the cat net over it. So far, so good and no one seems interested in it! It may be a different matter when there's a nice warm snuggly baby stinking of milk in there though! We are slowly trying to get the cat out of the bedroom, especially now she is used to the dog (it's only taken a year) so hopefully, we can mover her into Charlie's room/front room.
Another conversation has cropped up this week.......... contraception.
Now, I may come across as selfish here, but you never know what the future holds. We haven't thought about it, not really. We are just very very grateful for what we have right here, right now, and what Decemeber will bring.
But, I don't want to stick ANY hormones in my body afterwards, I have learned my lesson!! Especially that evil Depo!! IF, we decide one day to TTC again, i don't want to have to worry about any hormones that I have put in my body, so that rules out, the pill, implant, mirena coil and depo. I don't think having a coil in any way will be good, because of my cervix and (stupidly?) I worry about any internal damage it may cause. This leaves condoms, withdrawl method or abstinence? But to be honest, I hate condoms. And the last time we used them, when DRing for IVF, we managed to fuck that up, he put it on inside out and back to front!!! I know, I know, practice makes perfect, but it just doesn't feel the same does it? And I don't think he will be happy with abstinence!! HA Ha
So, on to this week. I have my GTT appointment tomorrow, I'm really not looking forward to that! I am not aloowed to eat or drink (except water) from 8pm tonight. I don't know how I'm going to do it! I'm such a pig at the moment!! I have to be at the hospital by 8am, they will take my fasting bloods, then I have to drink a glucose drink and then have ablood test again 2 hours later. The only saving grace is Bongo will be on standby with my order from the coffee cart of a latte with double shot of esspresso and almond syrup!! I had one evry morning on my way into work, so I know it's good stuff from there!!
I also have to have ablood test tomorrow to see how much Anti-D they need to give me on Friday. I almost need to take out a mortgage to pay the car parking fee's the amount of times I'm at this hospital in the next few weeks.
Well, that's about it for now. Although there is a very special person I would like to thank, just for being her. She knows who she is!! I love you so much and I'm so grateful to have you as my friend.
Monday, 2 September 2013
25 weeks 3 days Midwife Appointment
Fucking excellent.
Diagnosed with SPD. I have to rest and have physio.
Even more excellent - if I have another episode of "Braxton hicks" like I did Saturday night, I am to ring triage at the labour ward and go in and be checked and monitored.
Ok, I'm not panicking in the slightest. Nope, I'm really not. Honestly.
25 Weeks 3 Days
I haven't updated in forever! I've had so much going on.
Charlie has been home for a month over the summer holidays, and trying to keep an almost 14 year old entertained while feeling like a beached whale is.......diferent!
We have had a few problems with Bongo at work and he has had some time off, we have been trying to sort our cramped little flat out to make room for baby and baby things, I still have no idea where we are going to put everything!!
We are almost done buying everything now, just a few little bits and pieces and we are ready to rock and roll!! I can't believe I have only 14 and a half weeks left of this pregnancy, it's flown by.
I have a reallly really busy few weeks coming up appointment wise, although it's going to be busy, I am so very grateful that I am being looked after so closely. My next few weeks are like this:
Today - Midwife
11th Septemeber: VBAC Clinic
18th Septemeber: GTT
19th Septemeber: Anti-D blood test
20th Septemeber: Anti-D injection
1st October: Growth Scan
1st October: Consultant Appointment
In between, I will have another Midwife appointment as well.
I have Midwife this afternoon, just the usual checks etc, but I really do need to speak to her about this pelvic pain now, it has actually reduced me to tears on a number of occasions, the only way I can describe it, is like being kicked/having a groin strain (times 100). I can't get in and out of bed, it hurts to walk, and get up from a chair. I have bought a maternity belt, which is amazing, it holds it all in, and you feel like you kind of fall apart when you take it off! I would highly recommened one if your having pelvic problems. I am going to be asked to be referred to physio now, which she offered to do a few appointments back if I was still suffering.
I am also getting quite bad Braxton Hicks contractions! Except mine don't come and go, I have one that will last between 30 mins to an hour, then ease off, and I have this around 3/4 times a day, they can take my breath away at times! I was in the hallway when I got one Saturday night and was holding on to both sides of the wall for dear life, not quite being able to move, Bongo came and gave me his hands to hold while he tried to move me into the living room to sit down, but I couldn't move! He got screeched at to just 'leave me the fuck alone, I can't fucking move!'. Oh dear!! Imagine what I will be like in established labour??!!
Now, I really have a problem with the gruffalo! I can't shave, or when I do, I'm shaving blind and completely missing bits! I was thinking about trying and using some sensitive hair removing cream today, but that really only lasts as long as shaving, doesn't it? And it still means I have tot try and reach everywhere, and last time I tried using cream, it felt like I'd given my hoo ha third degree burns. I was thinking about biting the bullet and going for a wax, but I'm too scared, then someone recommeded sugar waxing as apparently it doesnt hurt so bad, but I'm still going to have to pluck up the courage to give that a go!! Such a dilema!
I have some bump pics, they are not great, so excuse the stretch marks!!
Daddy having kick cuddles!! The size of his hand makes my belly look tiny!!
Charlie has been home for a month over the summer holidays, and trying to keep an almost 14 year old entertained while feeling like a beached whale is.......diferent!
We have had a few problems with Bongo at work and he has had some time off, we have been trying to sort our cramped little flat out to make room for baby and baby things, I still have no idea where we are going to put everything!!
We are almost done buying everything now, just a few little bits and pieces and we are ready to rock and roll!! I can't believe I have only 14 and a half weeks left of this pregnancy, it's flown by.
I have a reallly really busy few weeks coming up appointment wise, although it's going to be busy, I am so very grateful that I am being looked after so closely. My next few weeks are like this:
Today - Midwife
11th Septemeber: VBAC Clinic
18th Septemeber: GTT
19th Septemeber: Anti-D blood test
20th Septemeber: Anti-D injection
1st October: Growth Scan
1st October: Consultant Appointment
In between, I will have another Midwife appointment as well.
I have Midwife this afternoon, just the usual checks etc, but I really do need to speak to her about this pelvic pain now, it has actually reduced me to tears on a number of occasions, the only way I can describe it, is like being kicked/having a groin strain (times 100). I can't get in and out of bed, it hurts to walk, and get up from a chair. I have bought a maternity belt, which is amazing, it holds it all in, and you feel like you kind of fall apart when you take it off! I would highly recommened one if your having pelvic problems. I am going to be asked to be referred to physio now, which she offered to do a few appointments back if I was still suffering.
I am also getting quite bad Braxton Hicks contractions! Except mine don't come and go, I have one that will last between 30 mins to an hour, then ease off, and I have this around 3/4 times a day, they can take my breath away at times! I was in the hallway when I got one Saturday night and was holding on to both sides of the wall for dear life, not quite being able to move, Bongo came and gave me his hands to hold while he tried to move me into the living room to sit down, but I couldn't move! He got screeched at to just 'leave me the fuck alone, I can't fucking move!'. Oh dear!! Imagine what I will be like in established labour??!!
Now, I really have a problem with the gruffalo! I can't shave, or when I do, I'm shaving blind and completely missing bits! I was thinking about trying and using some sensitive hair removing cream today, but that really only lasts as long as shaving, doesn't it? And it still means I have tot try and reach everywhere, and last time I tried using cream, it felt like I'd given my hoo ha third degree burns. I was thinking about biting the bullet and going for a wax, but I'm too scared, then someone recommeded sugar waxing as apparently it doesnt hurt so bad, but I'm still going to have to pluck up the courage to give that a go!! Such a dilema!
I have some bump pics, they are not great, so excuse the stretch marks!!
Wednesday, 7 August 2013
21 Weeks 5 Days Kicks
Just a quick one!!
I've been feeling little Missy kick for a few weeks now, but Bongo has only felt her a few times even though I feel I'm being kicked with steel toe capped boots, but I just cannot WAIT for him to get in from work, I can SEE her moving and kicking today, there is no way he won't be able to feel her now!!
Silly, bragging post, but eeeeeek, so exciting!!
I've been feeling little Missy kick for a few weeks now, but Bongo has only felt her a few times even though I feel I'm being kicked with steel toe capped boots, but I just cannot WAIT for him to get in from work, I can SEE her moving and kicking today, there is no way he won't be able to feel her now!!
Silly, bragging post, but eeeeeek, so exciting!!
Tuesday, 6 August 2013
21 Weeks 4 Days
Consultant appointment today to discuss my birthing options.
I went in all ready for the fight of my life, to push for the ELCS, or my compromise of a VBAC, but, if I need any intervention ie; forceps/ventouse, I will refuse this and want to go straight for a EMCS.
Well, it went better than expected, she asked details surrounding Charlie's birth (again) and she had my hospital notes, not just my maternity notes and one of the reasons was due to Maternal Height, so this was going in my favour already! I think she took one look at me, at bump and at Bongo and had already decided to hear us out. She said I can go for a VBAC and is recommending I do, I asked to be booked straight in for an ELCS, she said she can do, and will make an appointment for me to go and discuss my birthing options with a Consultant Midwife, BUT, she has the best plan of action and I'm entirely happy with it!
What we are going to do is, from 1st October (approx 29 weeks) I will be given growth scans every four weeks to check how baby is doing and a decision will be made according to how her scans go. She doesn't want to make any rushed decisions, we have plenty of time to see how things go and I feel I'm not being pushed into something (either way) without being properly monitored.
It's also very comforting to know that she didn't outright refuse me an ELCS and her actual words were 'we can do' when I asked for one. So I know I won't have a major fight in a few weeks when Cora-Jane is the size of an elephant.
Feeling a bit better about these things now.
But other problems, emotional ones are still ongoing. Friendships are fraught, close friends are being upset and hurt and there's bugger all I can do. I have accepted things won't be the same, I realise that now and have come to terms with that. But I hate to think that these issues are happening with other friends as well. I'm confused, I don't understand how it's come to this. But I suppose all good things come to an end.
So to the ladies who have been there for me for the past year or so, supported all my ups and downs, my treatments and failures, then my joy, from the bottom of my heart, I can't thank you enough, you will always be a massive part of my life whether we are in touch or not and I will always think of you.
I went in all ready for the fight of my life, to push for the ELCS, or my compromise of a VBAC, but, if I need any intervention ie; forceps/ventouse, I will refuse this and want to go straight for a EMCS.
Well, it went better than expected, she asked details surrounding Charlie's birth (again) and she had my hospital notes, not just my maternity notes and one of the reasons was due to Maternal Height, so this was going in my favour already! I think she took one look at me, at bump and at Bongo and had already decided to hear us out. She said I can go for a VBAC and is recommending I do, I asked to be booked straight in for an ELCS, she said she can do, and will make an appointment for me to go and discuss my birthing options with a Consultant Midwife, BUT, she has the best plan of action and I'm entirely happy with it!
What we are going to do is, from 1st October (approx 29 weeks) I will be given growth scans every four weeks to check how baby is doing and a decision will be made according to how her scans go. She doesn't want to make any rushed decisions, we have plenty of time to see how things go and I feel I'm not being pushed into something (either way) without being properly monitored.
It's also very comforting to know that she didn't outright refuse me an ELCS and her actual words were 'we can do' when I asked for one. So I know I won't have a major fight in a few weeks when Cora-Jane is the size of an elephant.
Feeling a bit better about these things now.
But other problems, emotional ones are still ongoing. Friendships are fraught, close friends are being upset and hurt and there's bugger all I can do. I have accepted things won't be the same, I realise that now and have come to terms with that. But I hate to think that these issues are happening with other friends as well. I'm confused, I don't understand how it's come to this. But I suppose all good things come to an end.
So to the ladies who have been there for me for the past year or so, supported all my ups and downs, my treatments and failures, then my joy, from the bottom of my heart, I can't thank you enough, you will always be a massive part of my life whether we are in touch or not and I will always think of you.
Wednesday, 31 July 2013
20 Weeks 5 Days
Aggggggggh, I just wrote a whole post and deleted it by mistake!!
So I had my 20 week scan yesterday, all is great. Although she is a big girl! All her measurements and checks came back within 'normal' limits. But she has got a big belly, I blame her Daddy for this, anyone who knows Bongo or has seen pictures of him will understand what I mean! I was worried at first about maybe a distended abdomen, but she reassured me it was all fine and I checked my scan notes afterwards and its all normal. Luckily I have an appointment with the Consultant next week, so I really will be pushing for my ELCS!!
We had a moment when we thought our little princess may be a little prince. During the scan, she kept referring to baby as 'he'. After she had done all her checks, she asked if we would like to know the gender, we said yes, but didn't tell her we already knew, we wanted confirmation. Baby kept being a little awkward and she had her feet in the wrong position, so the sonographer said 'at the start of the scan, I thought it was a boy', but she wriggled baby, and got the shot to confirm, it is definitely a girl!! Thank God!!
I have had a bit of a negative week this week. I feel I have lost some friends since becoming pregnant. I know this was to be expected, but it still hurts.
I have tried to be respectful and not harp on about my pregnancy and the baby, but I feel I have still lost friends anyway.
Sometimes it is very hard not to keep talking about it, I finally have what I thought I would never have, after 12 years of struggling.
But now I have lost these friends anyway, regardless of how respectful I have tried to be, and I now feel that why shouldn't I shout it from he rooftops after struggling for so long?? Why should I hide my pregnancy and baby like some dirty little secret?
I wouldn't be on FB everyday 'prenancy this, baby that, ooooh pregnancy is so hard' because I have far too much respect for the few that have stuck by me and supported me and been so understanding. I swear, I have not become one of 'those' infertiles, I just don't see why I should hide it anymore, I'm hurt that I have lost friends I thought would always be there.
I've also had a couple of really weird messages from people about my pregnancy this week, one friend I told I am pregnant to, who knows about our struggles, how long we have been trying and having IVF said 'Congrats, it took you fucking long enough'.............No Words, I just couldn't reply!
Then today, I had this conversation on FB. Am I over reacting? Or was that really really rude?? Thanks for reminding me I am terrified of having a natural birth and hoping my daughter doesn't 'rip me to pieces'
So I had my 20 week scan yesterday, all is great. Although she is a big girl! All her measurements and checks came back within 'normal' limits. But she has got a big belly, I blame her Daddy for this, anyone who knows Bongo or has seen pictures of him will understand what I mean! I was worried at first about maybe a distended abdomen, but she reassured me it was all fine and I checked my scan notes afterwards and its all normal. Luckily I have an appointment with the Consultant next week, so I really will be pushing for my ELCS!!
We had a moment when we thought our little princess may be a little prince. During the scan, she kept referring to baby as 'he'. After she had done all her checks, she asked if we would like to know the gender, we said yes, but didn't tell her we already knew, we wanted confirmation. Baby kept being a little awkward and she had her feet in the wrong position, so the sonographer said 'at the start of the scan, I thought it was a boy', but she wriggled baby, and got the shot to confirm, it is definitely a girl!! Thank God!!
I have had a bit of a negative week this week. I feel I have lost some friends since becoming pregnant. I know this was to be expected, but it still hurts.
I have tried to be respectful and not harp on about my pregnancy and the baby, but I feel I have still lost friends anyway.
Sometimes it is very hard not to keep talking about it, I finally have what I thought I would never have, after 12 years of struggling.
But now I have lost these friends anyway, regardless of how respectful I have tried to be, and I now feel that why shouldn't I shout it from he rooftops after struggling for so long?? Why should I hide my pregnancy and baby like some dirty little secret?
I wouldn't be on FB everyday 'prenancy this, baby that, ooooh pregnancy is so hard' because I have far too much respect for the few that have stuck by me and supported me and been so understanding. I swear, I have not become one of 'those' infertiles, I just don't see why I should hide it anymore, I'm hurt that I have lost friends I thought would always be there.
I've also had a couple of really weird messages from people about my pregnancy this week, one friend I told I am pregnant to, who knows about our struggles, how long we have been trying and having IVF said 'Congrats, it took you fucking long enough'.............No Words, I just couldn't reply!
Then today, I had this conversation on FB. Am I over reacting? Or was that really really rude?? Thanks for reminding me I am terrified of having a natural birth and hoping my daughter doesn't 'rip me to pieces'
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Monday, 22 July 2013
19 Weeks 3 Days
Ahhh, I've been crap at updating this past week or so!
Its been far too hot for me to even think, I'm not coping at all well with the heatwave we are having.
Here are my pics from 18 weeks, and I will update with my pics for this week tomorrow, if I remember!
Its been far too hot for me to even think, I'm not coping at all well with the heatwave we are having.
Here are my pics from 18 weeks, and I will update with my pics for this week tomorrow, if I remember!
I feel huge!!
She is starting to move and wriggle a lot more, she doesn't really like the heat! She keeps sitting right down in my pelvis, I think she gets lost, (like her dad, refusing to ask directions!!) then tries kicking and punching her way out and it is the weirdest feeling in the world! I don't remember having this feeling with Charlie, and I presume it's because of my anterior placenta, so I'm feeling her in other places, rather than at the front.
My 20 week scan is next Tuesday, and I'm getting nervous, I just want to know everything is OK with her, that she is all fine and healthy.
I have had to buy a new diary just for Cora-Janes appointments, there are so many! In the next couple of weeks, I have a scan, Midwife and Consultant appointment.
Charlie is now on Summer Holidays and I have no idea what to do with him! Especially as I have my ex-husband breathing down my neck at every opportunity. I'm sure he he is jealous of my life and my happiness and is doing what he done to me when we had Charlie and trying to convince me I am not a good mother and I do everything wrong. He is an emotional and violent bully.
I have also decided that I am going to speak to my consultant about getting a prescription for my anti-depressants and start taking them the day I give birth, to ward off any post partum depression as I am more at risk because of my bipolar. It means I won't be able to breastfeed, but I feel it is in everyones interests that I am mentally stable, than the stigma that comes with formula feeding. Judge me, I don't care. I know it's the right thing to do!
I will update again tomorrow with a less rushed post!
And I want to send all the love and hugs in the world to Mrs Briggs!
Monday, 8 July 2013
17 Weeks 3 Days
I haven't got a side profile bump picture to show this week, instead I have my 3D scans to post!
I have been feeling the baby move since the day after my MW appointment, although I can only ever feel it on my left side, which all becomes clear at my scan, I have an anterior placenta (at the front) which means I won't feel big movements for a while. I presume my placenta is on the right, at the front, as I only ever feel the baby move on the left.
2 days after my MW appointment, I had a bad bout of sciatica! I felt like I had been kicked my a horse in the arse and I couldn't put weight on my right leg!! I was like this for 2 days, and Bongo had to take a day off work to walk the dog and generally be my nurse!! It went as quickly as it started and I'm feeling a lot better.
So, Saturday, at 17 weeks and 1 day, we had our 3D gender scan, which my Mum, Dad, nephew and Charlie came to.
It was a bit of a bittersweet day though, as my great aunt died at 3.30am Saturday morning, I wouldn't go so far as to say we were extremely close, but she took over as our Nan after my Nan (her sister) passed away in 1995. But she was everybodys Nan, everyone in the town knew her, she welcomed everyone in, our family is HUGE, they had 21 brothers and sisters (No TV's in those days) and I certainly don't think that side of my family is infertile! The whole town is in mourning for our wonderful Auntie Ethel. She will be greatly missed.
So here are the pictures of our little PRINCESS, Cora-Jane Ellen. To explain why we have chosen her name. We both like the name Cora, it reminds me of the film Titanic, when Leonardo DiCaprio is dancing in 3rd Class with the little girl, then dances with Rose, but he says to the little girl 'Your still my favourite girl Cora', Jane comes from my dad's name, which is Jan (pronounced as in short for Janet, not Yan) and Ellen is my sisters middle name, who had to be honoured for her wonderful offer of paying for our FET.
Bongo guessed correct right from the beginning and he is absolutely smitten and over the moon he's having a little girl! I am chuffed to bits as well, of course all I want is a happy healthy baby, but to know I have one of each, as this will probably be my only time I have a baby, is just perfect.
Cheeky little lady decided to flip us the bird!! Definitely her mothers daughter!!
I think she's singing the song 'The Music Man' and doing the piano action here!!
GRRR, shaking her fist at us!!
I have been feeling the baby move since the day after my MW appointment, although I can only ever feel it on my left side, which all becomes clear at my scan, I have an anterior placenta (at the front) which means I won't feel big movements for a while. I presume my placenta is on the right, at the front, as I only ever feel the baby move on the left.
2 days after my MW appointment, I had a bad bout of sciatica! I felt like I had been kicked my a horse in the arse and I couldn't put weight on my right leg!! I was like this for 2 days, and Bongo had to take a day off work to walk the dog and generally be my nurse!! It went as quickly as it started and I'm feeling a lot better.
So, Saturday, at 17 weeks and 1 day, we had our 3D gender scan, which my Mum, Dad, nephew and Charlie came to.
It was a bit of a bittersweet day though, as my great aunt died at 3.30am Saturday morning, I wouldn't go so far as to say we were extremely close, but she took over as our Nan after my Nan (her sister) passed away in 1995. But she was everybodys Nan, everyone in the town knew her, she welcomed everyone in, our family is HUGE, they had 21 brothers and sisters (No TV's in those days) and I certainly don't think that side of my family is infertile! The whole town is in mourning for our wonderful Auntie Ethel. She will be greatly missed.
So here are the pictures of our little PRINCESS, Cora-Jane Ellen. To explain why we have chosen her name. We both like the name Cora, it reminds me of the film Titanic, when Leonardo DiCaprio is dancing in 3rd Class with the little girl, then dances with Rose, but he says to the little girl 'Your still my favourite girl Cora', Jane comes from my dad's name, which is Jan (pronounced as in short for Janet, not Yan) and Ellen is my sisters middle name, who had to be honoured for her wonderful offer of paying for our FET.
Bongo guessed correct right from the beginning and he is absolutely smitten and over the moon he's having a little girl! I am chuffed to bits as well, of course all I want is a happy healthy baby, but to know I have one of each, as this will probably be my only time I have a baby, is just perfect.
Cheeky little lady decided to flip us the bird!! Definitely her mothers daughter!!
Tuesday, 25 June 2013
Midwife Appointment
Today went way better than expected.
So I woke up to a text from the midwife asking if she could change my appointment to this morning rather than this afternoon, after lots of back and forth, I managed to get to my mums for the appointment. But Bongo didn't finish work in time, so he missed the appointment.
She done the usual checks on my urine, which was fine, and my BP which again was fine. She asked if I had any problems and I told her about my back and pelvis, I expected to be fobbed off, but she said straight away that if it's still bad in a months time, she will refer me to the physios.
I feel that her attitude toward me has completely changed, she couldn't have been more helpful and supportive today. I don't know if it was because my mum was in the room, and being very pushy!! But she has suddenly decided after my mum raising the subject of the birth (and making it clear she knew people in high places!!), that she will support my decision for a ELCS, I am to discuss this with my Obstetric Consultant at my appointment at around 28 weeks, and that if I want her there for moral support, she will come with me!! A complete turnaround from my last appointment.
I explained my fears about baby getting stuck, a forceps, then having to be taken for an EMCS, and I think she took me seriously and realised I had done my homework. She also said if the consultant is too pushy for a VBAC, she will then take me to see a Consultant Midwife instead, who will fight my corner for me.
My mum also managed to get in the full story about Charlie's birth, so I think that helped as well.
I have my appointment booked for my GTT for 18th September, and I also have to have an Anti-D on 20th September as my blood group is O-neg.
She then listened to baby's heart rate. I had a bit of a moment where I had a panic, she couldn't get a great position at first, baby is laying on my right side, and she said my stomach muscles are way too strong! Then you hear the baby kick and the heart rate kick in!! It sounds like I'm carrying a galloping horse! I've tried adding it to my blog, but can't for some reason!
So, my appointment went better than expected, but I also wonder what her attitude will be like next time I see her! And they say I have a personality disorder!!
So I woke up to a text from the midwife asking if she could change my appointment to this morning rather than this afternoon, after lots of back and forth, I managed to get to my mums for the appointment. But Bongo didn't finish work in time, so he missed the appointment.
She done the usual checks on my urine, which was fine, and my BP which again was fine. She asked if I had any problems and I told her about my back and pelvis, I expected to be fobbed off, but she said straight away that if it's still bad in a months time, she will refer me to the physios.
I feel that her attitude toward me has completely changed, she couldn't have been more helpful and supportive today. I don't know if it was because my mum was in the room, and being very pushy!! But she has suddenly decided after my mum raising the subject of the birth (and making it clear she knew people in high places!!), that she will support my decision for a ELCS, I am to discuss this with my Obstetric Consultant at my appointment at around 28 weeks, and that if I want her there for moral support, she will come with me!! A complete turnaround from my last appointment.
I explained my fears about baby getting stuck, a forceps, then having to be taken for an EMCS, and I think she took me seriously and realised I had done my homework. She also said if the consultant is too pushy for a VBAC, she will then take me to see a Consultant Midwife instead, who will fight my corner for me.
My mum also managed to get in the full story about Charlie's birth, so I think that helped as well.
I have my appointment booked for my GTT for 18th September, and I also have to have an Anti-D on 20th September as my blood group is O-neg.
So, my appointment went better than expected, but I also wonder what her attitude will be like next time I see her! And they say I have a personality disorder!!
Monday, 24 June 2013
15 Weeks 3 Day
Tomorrow, I have an appointment with the Midwife from Hell, and I am actually dreading it.
It's just a routine appointment, check my urine, BP and listen to the HR of my belly monster, so maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and not even try and discuss the birth with her and wait for my Obstetric Consultant appointment?
She's annoyed me greatly, she is supposed to be dealing with vulnerable people, and all she has done is push me into a pit of despair and anxiety about the birth. I feel I am not being listened to and that I am being treated like a 'mental woman' because of my Bipolar and that I can't make my own informed decisions surrounding the birth of MY baby and what happens to MY body.
I am having some real problems with my back and pelvis. If I am standing for too long, or do too much, I have really bad pains. Mum bought me an amazing pillow- its like a memory foam cube with two U shapes cut out either side to place between my legs, it keeps my pelvis open slightly and eases a lot of the pain. I think it may be where I have got so big, so quickly. Although my growth spurt seems to be levelling out now. Here's my 15 week pic
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I almost gave myself a heart attack last week. I was at my friends (the MW) and as is usual, needed to go for my hourly wee. I went for a wee, wiped and it was pink on the toilet roll, I looked down the loo and it was a really dark pink. I stood in her bathroom and screamed for her to come and look. My heart dropped out of my arse, I was all snot and tears. She was very very calm and said I may have a UTI or dehydrated. She asked me what I had drunk today, so I told her. Then she asked me what I had eaten, so I reeled off a list of what I had eaten (another story about this is to come!!) and when I got to my afternoon snack - 'Crackers with.............Ohhhhhhhh, that's what it will be!! BEETROOT!!'
I have never had this happen with beetroot before! Never from a wee anyway!! I felt so stupid standing there creaming with snot and tears, all because I ate some beetroot!!
A word of warning, NEVER EVER LET YOUR DH READ INFORMATION LEAFLETS!!!
Bongo was very nearly in hospital having his face reattached after his little comment the other night!! So as I have said, my blood glucose levels are playing up, and I have trouble eating too much at once, so I am eating very healthily, but little and often. Bongo came home from work one day and I had all my leaflets out to cut out all the money off coupons and free gifts from the maternity pack. He came across a leaflets about Healthy Eating During Pregnancy, he perused it, and said nothing else on the matter. Later on that evening, we were in bed and my pelvis was playing up, so I kind of nudged him and said 'it really hurts' and he replied 'you eat too much' I was absolutely gobsmacked!! So a massive argument ensues, and it turns out he had read the leaflets and it suggests I eat 3 proper meals a day! Well he has taken that as written in stone. I had to carefully explain to the dumbass, that if he actually looks at what and when I'm eating I certainly am NOT eating too much!! It just looks that way. If my pelvis wasn't playing up so much, I could quite easily have lost the plot. As it was, I just sat there, absolutely gobsmacked that my lovely sweet Bongo could say this to me. Kind of ironic coming from him anyway, as any of my girls who know me/him, will understand!!!
Anyway, I will update on my appointment with Hells own MW tomorrow.
It's just a routine appointment, check my urine, BP and listen to the HR of my belly monster, so maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and not even try and discuss the birth with her and wait for my Obstetric Consultant appointment?
She's annoyed me greatly, she is supposed to be dealing with vulnerable people, and all she has done is push me into a pit of despair and anxiety about the birth. I feel I am not being listened to and that I am being treated like a 'mental woman' because of my Bipolar and that I can't make my own informed decisions surrounding the birth of MY baby and what happens to MY body.
I am having some real problems with my back and pelvis. If I am standing for too long, or do too much, I have really bad pains. Mum bought me an amazing pillow- its like a memory foam cube with two U shapes cut out either side to place between my legs, it keeps my pelvis open slightly and eases a lot of the pain. I think it may be where I have got so big, so quickly. Although my growth spurt seems to be levelling out now. Here's my 15 week pic
.JPG)
I almost gave myself a heart attack last week. I was at my friends (the MW) and as is usual, needed to go for my hourly wee. I went for a wee, wiped and it was pink on the toilet roll, I looked down the loo and it was a really dark pink. I stood in her bathroom and screamed for her to come and look. My heart dropped out of my arse, I was all snot and tears. She was very very calm and said I may have a UTI or dehydrated. She asked me what I had drunk today, so I told her. Then she asked me what I had eaten, so I reeled off a list of what I had eaten (another story about this is to come!!) and when I got to my afternoon snack - 'Crackers with.............Ohhhhhhhh, that's what it will be!! BEETROOT!!'
I have never had this happen with beetroot before! Never from a wee anyway!! I felt so stupid standing there creaming with snot and tears, all because I ate some beetroot!!
A word of warning, NEVER EVER LET YOUR DH READ INFORMATION LEAFLETS!!!
Bongo was very nearly in hospital having his face reattached after his little comment the other night!! So as I have said, my blood glucose levels are playing up, and I have trouble eating too much at once, so I am eating very healthily, but little and often. Bongo came home from work one day and I had all my leaflets out to cut out all the money off coupons and free gifts from the maternity pack. He came across a leaflets about Healthy Eating During Pregnancy, he perused it, and said nothing else on the matter. Later on that evening, we were in bed and my pelvis was playing up, so I kind of nudged him and said 'it really hurts' and he replied 'you eat too much' I was absolutely gobsmacked!! So a massive argument ensues, and it turns out he had read the leaflets and it suggests I eat 3 proper meals a day! Well he has taken that as written in stone. I had to carefully explain to the dumbass, that if he actually looks at what and when I'm eating I certainly am NOT eating too much!! It just looks that way. If my pelvis wasn't playing up so much, I could quite easily have lost the plot. As it was, I just sat there, absolutely gobsmacked that my lovely sweet Bongo could say this to me. Kind of ironic coming from him anyway, as any of my girls who know me/him, will understand!!!
Anyway, I will update on my appointment with Hells own MW tomorrow.
Monday, 17 June 2013
Wonderful Friends!
I'm sat here, crying my heart out for my friend who has been given bad news regarding her rights to fertility treatments, and d'you know, she's the one talking me through my rights for a ELCS, calming me down about the birth of my baby, how amazing is this woman? She is the most caring, unselfish loving person in the world.
I rang my mum to tell her my friends news (she likes to keep up to date with us ladies) and I cried. I said 'we all want to win the lottery for selfish reasons, but I swear, I promise, just let me win £10,000 and I will give it all to her for IVF, I won't keep a penny' I just wish there was something I could do for her, I feel so useless, and all she has been is supportive, always. I want to pay her back for all the love and support she's shown through my treatments, and my pregnancy. She deserves this, for all the love she shows, I've never known anyone with so much love!
Following on from yesterdays confusing post re Psycho Midwife.
I have talked to my friend who is a midwife, and told her what happened. She asked my MWs name, and straight away screamed down the phone at me to change my MW immediately. It turns out they trained together and she is an absolute nutter. She had very low grades (even failed a year and had to re-take exams). I won't go into details regarding her too much, but I am going to change MWs ASAP. I have an appointment with her next Tuesday 25th, and I have asked my mum to be there. My mum was in the house when I had my appointment last week (this MW is in a team of MWs that deal with vulnerable ladies, ie; mental heath problems and teen pregnancies, can you believe that) and my mum took an instant dislike to her after I told her how the appointment went. I was angry with my mum at first, but as I said yesterday, hindsight is a bitch and it took this weekend for me to realise what an absolute knob she is! So, mum will be at the next appointment, and I want my mum to tell me what I need to do, I trust my mums opinion 100%.
It's a shame I can't have my friend as my MW, but a conflict of interests stops her being on my case. Although I am discussing the possibility of her being with me throughout my labour and birth anyway, and taking her lead regarding my care.
Although as I said yesterday, I still have to see a consultant yet, so I'm hoping they listen to my fears and take into consideration my birth with Charlie, as I have checked and it says on my notes 'ELCS due to baby's size'
I am worried about how my care will be if I request a change in MWs, but have been told that many many women change their MWs, as it is the most personal time of their lives, and if they just don't click with a MW, they won't want them their during birth. It's quite common to change MWs. Its still a worry though.
I'm going to read through the guidelines my wonderful friend has just sent me, regarding a ELCS and just see how my appointment with her goes next week. Hopefully, my mother will step in if I'm not assertive enough!
Oh, and I just love being woken up to 'Darling............your bumps MASSIVE this morning!'
I rang my mum to tell her my friends news (she likes to keep up to date with us ladies) and I cried. I said 'we all want to win the lottery for selfish reasons, but I swear, I promise, just let me win £10,000 and I will give it all to her for IVF, I won't keep a penny' I just wish there was something I could do for her, I feel so useless, and all she has been is supportive, always. I want to pay her back for all the love and support she's shown through my treatments, and my pregnancy. She deserves this, for all the love she shows, I've never known anyone with so much love!
Following on from yesterdays confusing post re Psycho Midwife.
I have talked to my friend who is a midwife, and told her what happened. She asked my MWs name, and straight away screamed down the phone at me to change my MW immediately. It turns out they trained together and she is an absolute nutter. She had very low grades (even failed a year and had to re-take exams). I won't go into details regarding her too much, but I am going to change MWs ASAP. I have an appointment with her next Tuesday 25th, and I have asked my mum to be there. My mum was in the house when I had my appointment last week (this MW is in a team of MWs that deal with vulnerable ladies, ie; mental heath problems and teen pregnancies, can you believe that) and my mum took an instant dislike to her after I told her how the appointment went. I was angry with my mum at first, but as I said yesterday, hindsight is a bitch and it took this weekend for me to realise what an absolute knob she is! So, mum will be at the next appointment, and I want my mum to tell me what I need to do, I trust my mums opinion 100%.
It's a shame I can't have my friend as my MW, but a conflict of interests stops her being on my case. Although I am discussing the possibility of her being with me throughout my labour and birth anyway, and taking her lead regarding my care.
Although as I said yesterday, I still have to see a consultant yet, so I'm hoping they listen to my fears and take into consideration my birth with Charlie, as I have checked and it says on my notes 'ELCS due to baby's size'
I am worried about how my care will be if I request a change in MWs, but have been told that many many women change their MWs, as it is the most personal time of their lives, and if they just don't click with a MW, they won't want them their during birth. It's quite common to change MWs. Its still a worry though.
I'm going to read through the guidelines my wonderful friend has just sent me, regarding a ELCS and just see how my appointment with her goes next week. Hopefully, my mother will step in if I'm not assertive enough!
Oh, and I just love being woken up to 'Darling............your bumps MASSIVE this morning!'
Sunday, 16 June 2013
14 weeks 2 days
Hindsight is a bitch isn't it?
Why don't I exert myself more, instead of being spoken over?
I'm annoyed with my MW.
When I asked about another ELCS, she asked about the circumstances surrounding the ELCS, and yes, it most certainly was an elective! But she wouldn't listen to the story and kept telling me it was an emergency section, WHICH IT WASN'T!!
Here's the story - I had a growth scan at 34 weeks, to assess about the birth. BUT, they picked up a problem with the blood flow through the placenta, it wasn't a life or death situation for the baby, and I was monitored every other day at the Fetal Assessment unit, up until my next Consultant appointment at 37 weeks, he was happy with baby, so I was left to continue with monitoring, and back again in a week, he mentioned that I should seriously start considering a ELCS, but nothing was ever actually mentioned about babies size, but I presume he meant because of babies size and this problem would be less chance of fetal distress. We continued with monitoring, and went back at 39+1 to the consultant, where my ex-husband said 'you've told us we are having a section, just tell us where and when and we will be there' the consultant said he would have a MW ring and book us in that afternoon, when the MW rang she said you have a choice of dates, tomorrow or 5 days time (my due date). We chose to go in the next day, as we just couldn't wait to meet baby.
But my MW this time didn't listen to the full story, all she heard was 'problem, blood flow, placenta' and decided it was an EMCS, and that because it was an emergency, I don't qualify for an ELCS this time!!
I am really not bothered about having a TOLAC, but I just want a straight forward birth. I have a fear of not being able to get the baby out, I'll end up in theatre having a dreaded forceps delivery, then maybe even going on to have a EMCS!!
I still have to have a consultant appointment, due to being high risk as I have a previous CS (yes, very contradictory) so I will raise my concerns then.
And I really want to know if I had an EMCS or and ELCS. Its pissing me off now!!
Anyway back to today! Here's 14 week bump pic!
(excuse the mess on my bedroom floor! Teenagers are not very good at tidying their crap up!)
Weirdly, morning sickness has been bad these past few days, I really thought I'd got lucky and given the whole MS a big fat swerve, but nope! We had a McDonald's for dinner last night, and pickles make me feel sick at the best of times, but Bongo had taken his yukky yukkys (what pickles are called in this house) out of his burger and left them on his plate, when I went to take his plate out, these horrible soggy, green snotty looking disgusting things were just sat looking at me on his plate, I actually was sick in my mouth, I had to swallow it to shout at Bongo to take the plate off me, the dumbass stood up and closed the fucking window and left me standing there unable to move with sickness, holding this plate of yukky yukkys. I swear, that mans on another fucking planet recently!Then went to the bathroom and puked, hard!!!
I've had the results of my Nuchal Screening scan and blood test, I am Low Risk for Downs Syndrome. My results are a 1 in 2198 chance of having a baby with DS. So no further testing for us, although we had agreed that it wouldn't affect us at all, and we would just deal with the circumstances. We had looked into the possibility of heart conditions in DS children, and other risks, and we know we would have coped.
I have a quiet week this week, no scans or appointments, so I plan on taking it easy!
Why don't I exert myself more, instead of being spoken over?
I'm annoyed with my MW.
When I asked about another ELCS, she asked about the circumstances surrounding the ELCS, and yes, it most certainly was an elective! But she wouldn't listen to the story and kept telling me it was an emergency section, WHICH IT WASN'T!!
Here's the story - I had a growth scan at 34 weeks, to assess about the birth. BUT, they picked up a problem with the blood flow through the placenta, it wasn't a life or death situation for the baby, and I was monitored every other day at the Fetal Assessment unit, up until my next Consultant appointment at 37 weeks, he was happy with baby, so I was left to continue with monitoring, and back again in a week, he mentioned that I should seriously start considering a ELCS, but nothing was ever actually mentioned about babies size, but I presume he meant because of babies size and this problem would be less chance of fetal distress. We continued with monitoring, and went back at 39+1 to the consultant, where my ex-husband said 'you've told us we are having a section, just tell us where and when and we will be there' the consultant said he would have a MW ring and book us in that afternoon, when the MW rang she said you have a choice of dates, tomorrow or 5 days time (my due date). We chose to go in the next day, as we just couldn't wait to meet baby.
But my MW this time didn't listen to the full story, all she heard was 'problem, blood flow, placenta' and decided it was an EMCS, and that because it was an emergency, I don't qualify for an ELCS this time!!
I am really not bothered about having a TOLAC, but I just want a straight forward birth. I have a fear of not being able to get the baby out, I'll end up in theatre having a dreaded forceps delivery, then maybe even going on to have a EMCS!!
I still have to have a consultant appointment, due to being high risk as I have a previous CS (yes, very contradictory) so I will raise my concerns then.
And I really want to know if I had an EMCS or and ELCS. Its pissing me off now!!
Anyway back to today! Here's 14 week bump pic!
Weirdly, morning sickness has been bad these past few days, I really thought I'd got lucky and given the whole MS a big fat swerve, but nope! We had a McDonald's for dinner last night, and pickles make me feel sick at the best of times, but Bongo had taken his yukky yukkys (what pickles are called in this house) out of his burger and left them on his plate, when I went to take his plate out, these horrible soggy, green snotty looking disgusting things were just sat looking at me on his plate, I actually was sick in my mouth, I had to swallow it to shout at Bongo to take the plate off me, the dumbass stood up and closed the fucking window and left me standing there unable to move with sickness, holding this plate of yukky yukkys. I swear, that mans on another fucking planet recently!Then went to the bathroom and puked, hard!!!
I've had the results of my Nuchal Screening scan and blood test, I am Low Risk for Downs Syndrome. My results are a 1 in 2198 chance of having a baby with DS. So no further testing for us, although we had agreed that it wouldn't affect us at all, and we would just deal with the circumstances. We had looked into the possibility of heart conditions in DS children, and other risks, and we know we would have coped.
I have a quiet week this week, no scans or appointments, so I plan on taking it easy!
Thursday, 13 June 2013
Scan and Midwife Appointment.
The scan went well, thank god!
We had a different woman scan us this time, and she was lovely. When we saw the baby pop up on the screen, I burst into tears, so she asked if we had a hard time, we explained everything and she was brilliant, making excuses for us to stay in the room a bit longer scanning our baby! She kept saying we couldn't possibly go outside looking like we had been crying, so she kept scanning and showing us the baby. She pointed out little hands and feet, spine, ribs, showed us the heartbeat on the screen, which is excellent at 142bpm. Baby is a long baby, not big as such, just quite long, which would probably explain why I'm quite big already.
Baby kept wriggling, so we couldn't get brilliant shots, but I saw my baby, jumping up and down and wriggling away.
My EDD is still 13th December, so I was spot on with my dates, the other scan was completely wrong, which I knew it would be. so I had the scan at 13+4, I'll be 14 weeks tomorrow!
1st one is baby waving!
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We have a 3D/Gender scan booked for 6th July and I can't wait!!
I didn't find out with Charlie, I don't know how I made 39 weeks not knowing what I was having! Even now, having to wait 2 weeks to find out is killing me!
We had our midwife appointment yesterday, everything is good. I told her about my blood sugars levels and she is sending me for a GTT (Glucose Tolerance Test) she was very understanding.
We also discussed the birth with her, she is adamant I will be having a VBAC, which was quite a shock! She said there is absolutely no reason whatsoever that I would need another Cesarean! We discussed our concerns with her, but she is very convincing and said everything will be fine. Bongo is still a bit worried. But as I'm going to be under consultant care, I will discuss this with my consultant as well when I get the appointment. Scary Stuff!!!
We had a different woman scan us this time, and she was lovely. When we saw the baby pop up on the screen, I burst into tears, so she asked if we had a hard time, we explained everything and she was brilliant, making excuses for us to stay in the room a bit longer scanning our baby! She kept saying we couldn't possibly go outside looking like we had been crying, so she kept scanning and showing us the baby. She pointed out little hands and feet, spine, ribs, showed us the heartbeat on the screen, which is excellent at 142bpm. Baby is a long baby, not big as such, just quite long, which would probably explain why I'm quite big already.
Baby kept wriggling, so we couldn't get brilliant shots, but I saw my baby, jumping up and down and wriggling away.
My EDD is still 13th December, so I was spot on with my dates, the other scan was completely wrong, which I knew it would be. so I had the scan at 13+4, I'll be 14 weeks tomorrow!
1st one is baby waving!
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We have a 3D/Gender scan booked for 6th July and I can't wait!!
I didn't find out with Charlie, I don't know how I made 39 weeks not knowing what I was having! Even now, having to wait 2 weeks to find out is killing me!
We had our midwife appointment yesterday, everything is good. I told her about my blood sugars levels and she is sending me for a GTT (Glucose Tolerance Test) she was very understanding.
We also discussed the birth with her, she is adamant I will be having a VBAC, which was quite a shock! She said there is absolutely no reason whatsoever that I would need another Cesarean! We discussed our concerns with her, but she is very convincing and said everything will be fine. Bongo is still a bit worried. But as I'm going to be under consultant care, I will discuss this with my consultant as well when I get the appointment. Scary Stuff!!!
Monday, 10 June 2013
13 Weeks 3 days
So tomorrow is my scan date. As much as I'm looking forward to it, I am terrified. Its hard to put into words.
I'm scared I'm going to wish the scan time away, because all I want to see is a moving, waving baby, I'm scared I can't just lay back and enjoy the ride. It's like I just want it over and done with, so I know everything's OK.
I'm scared they are going to tell me my baby died weeks ago, and I have had another MMC.
But, I am also excited, I'm sure everything will be fine, I would have known if something wasn't right by now, wouldn't I?
Well this time tomorrow, it will all be over, and hopefully, I will be uploaded a little scan pic for you all to see.
I will also have a more accurate EDD (if that even makes sense) which has been another pain in the backside, not actually being able to tell anyone when the baby is due! My lovely sister NEEDS to know so she can book her flights for Christmas (she goes to their Los Angeles home for Christmas)
I am officially a dinlow! I went to bed Friday night, after having a lovely warm bubble bath. One of the many times I had to get up to pee in the night, I wiped, there was a drop of blood. All of a panic and crying, I woke Bongo up and told HIM not to panic, but there was blood when I wiped, he promptly fell straight back to sleep, as I'd told him not to panic, so he got a rude awakening by me screaming at him to sort his fucking life out! He told me to wait 2 minutes and go back and check. By which time, I had remembered, I had had a little tidy up down stairs and must of nicked myself with a razor!! When I went back to do a more thorough check, I had indeed cut myself shaving!!
Now the dilemma, do I grow a gruffalo and not worry about cuts and nicks or do I keep myself all nice and trimmed................ as long as I can reach it, you can trust me, there will be no gruffalos in this house!!!
I managed to convince Bongo I needed more clothes, so had a lovely day out Monday spending all his money! And of course, I needed new shoes with said new outfits! Bongo has since returned to a more natural colour, rather than the yukky green colour he's been all week after checking his bank balance!!
Here is my 13 weeks bump pic. There's not much change since 12 weeks, but still a bump!
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I'm scared I'm going to wish the scan time away, because all I want to see is a moving, waving baby, I'm scared I can't just lay back and enjoy the ride. It's like I just want it over and done with, so I know everything's OK.
I'm scared they are going to tell me my baby died weeks ago, and I have had another MMC.
But, I am also excited, I'm sure everything will be fine, I would have known if something wasn't right by now, wouldn't I?
Well this time tomorrow, it will all be over, and hopefully, I will be uploaded a little scan pic for you all to see.
I will also have a more accurate EDD (if that even makes sense) which has been another pain in the backside, not actually being able to tell anyone when the baby is due! My lovely sister NEEDS to know so she can book her flights for Christmas (she goes to their Los Angeles home for Christmas)
I am officially a dinlow! I went to bed Friday night, after having a lovely warm bubble bath. One of the many times I had to get up to pee in the night, I wiped, there was a drop of blood. All of a panic and crying, I woke Bongo up and told HIM not to panic, but there was blood when I wiped, he promptly fell straight back to sleep, as I'd told him not to panic, so he got a rude awakening by me screaming at him to sort his fucking life out! He told me to wait 2 minutes and go back and check. By which time, I had remembered, I had had a little tidy up down stairs and must of nicked myself with a razor!! When I went back to do a more thorough check, I had indeed cut myself shaving!!
Now the dilemma, do I grow a gruffalo and not worry about cuts and nicks or do I keep myself all nice and trimmed................ as long as I can reach it, you can trust me, there will be no gruffalos in this house!!!
I managed to convince Bongo I needed more clothes, so had a lovely day out Monday spending all his money! And of course, I needed new shoes with said new outfits! Bongo has since returned to a more natural colour, rather than the yukky green colour he's been all week after checking his bank balance!!
Here is my 13 weeks bump pic. There's not much change since 12 weeks, but still a bump!
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Friday, 31 May 2013
12 Weeks
So according to my LMP, I'm 12 weeks today! Yay!
(Although if we go by the dumb sonographer, I'm 11 weeks tomorrow, but lets forget her)
We still have to wait another 11 days for our scan, so will have a more accurate date on the 11th June.
My 17 year old nephew has insisted on paying for our 'Gender Peek' Scan, and tricked me into taking the money yesterday! So we will be booking that for 16 weeks when we have our more accurate date at the scan in 11 days.
I've just been upset by the nurse at my G.P surgery. I've had another couple of episodes of low blood sugars and hypos, so I rang to speak to someone. She actually shouted at me down the phone demanding to know where I got a blood glucose monitor from, so I explained that my dad and nephew are diabetic, and I always keep a monitor in the house. But, does she not know, ANYONE can buy a monitor in Boots or a chemist? She told me I was over reacting and causing myself to panic for no reason, I should not be testing my blood glucose levels, and she wasn't interesting in hearing about how low my levels had dropped. 2.3, 2.5 and 2.8 are FAR from within normal limits. She just wanted to shout at me and make me feel like a drama queen. I tried to explain my family history, that I am higher risk of gestational diabetes. All she asked was had I been eating properly, so I said of course, I have been keeping a food and blood glucose diary, cue, more shouting for using the monitor. I then explained my last 'hypo' 2 days ago, I was actually drinking a can of coke at the time, so it made absolutely no sense what so ever that my levels dropped to 2.8. She wasn't interested.
I'm now too scared to make a doctors appointment or ring my midwife, because I've been made to feel really stupid and that I'm being a drama queen. I just don't know what to do?
I also have a theory on women who are diagnosed with gestational diabetes in the third trimester. When my blood sugar levels go low, it can be mistaken for normal pregnancy related dizziness, sickness, weakness. Just I am more aware of hypo symptoms, so wondered and checked my blood glucose levels.
Low blood sugar levels can be diagnosed with hyperinsulinemia, where the body produces too much insulin for the time being, then, later the pancreas doesn't have enough insulin to produce, and therefore are diagnosed with diabetes (mainly type 2)
I'm sure if they tested more women's blood glucose levels more regularly in first tri (high risk for developing gestational diabetes) it will show more markers for if they will develop it later in pregnancy. But the symptoms are always just put down to 'normal pregnancy related symptoms'
I'm feeling a bit better physically this week, I'm still waking up with headaches, but not so bad, backache is still sore, but not unbearable. I am actually the size of a house already! Bongo has started taking weekly pictures, here is this weeks.
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Looks like a good excuse to go and buy more clothes!!
(Although if we go by the dumb sonographer, I'm 11 weeks tomorrow, but lets forget her)
We still have to wait another 11 days for our scan, so will have a more accurate date on the 11th June.
My 17 year old nephew has insisted on paying for our 'Gender Peek' Scan, and tricked me into taking the money yesterday! So we will be booking that for 16 weeks when we have our more accurate date at the scan in 11 days.
I've just been upset by the nurse at my G.P surgery. I've had another couple of episodes of low blood sugars and hypos, so I rang to speak to someone. She actually shouted at me down the phone demanding to know where I got a blood glucose monitor from, so I explained that my dad and nephew are diabetic, and I always keep a monitor in the house. But, does she not know, ANYONE can buy a monitor in Boots or a chemist? She told me I was over reacting and causing myself to panic for no reason, I should not be testing my blood glucose levels, and she wasn't interesting in hearing about how low my levels had dropped. 2.3, 2.5 and 2.8 are FAR from within normal limits. She just wanted to shout at me and make me feel like a drama queen. I tried to explain my family history, that I am higher risk of gestational diabetes. All she asked was had I been eating properly, so I said of course, I have been keeping a food and blood glucose diary, cue, more shouting for using the monitor. I then explained my last 'hypo' 2 days ago, I was actually drinking a can of coke at the time, so it made absolutely no sense what so ever that my levels dropped to 2.8. She wasn't interested.
I'm now too scared to make a doctors appointment or ring my midwife, because I've been made to feel really stupid and that I'm being a drama queen. I just don't know what to do?
I also have a theory on women who are diagnosed with gestational diabetes in the third trimester. When my blood sugar levels go low, it can be mistaken for normal pregnancy related dizziness, sickness, weakness. Just I am more aware of hypo symptoms, so wondered and checked my blood glucose levels.
Low blood sugar levels can be diagnosed with hyperinsulinemia, where the body produces too much insulin for the time being, then, later the pancreas doesn't have enough insulin to produce, and therefore are diagnosed with diabetes (mainly type 2)
I'm sure if they tested more women's blood glucose levels more regularly in first tri (high risk for developing gestational diabetes) it will show more markers for if they will develop it later in pregnancy. But the symptoms are always just put down to 'normal pregnancy related symptoms'
I'm feeling a bit better physically this week, I'm still waking up with headaches, but not so bad, backache is still sore, but not unbearable. I am actually the size of a house already! Bongo has started taking weekly pictures, here is this weeks.
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Looks like a good excuse to go and buy more clothes!!
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