Its been far too hot for me to even think, I'm not coping at all well with the heatwave we are having.
Here are my pics from 18 weeks, and I will update with my pics for this week tomorrow, if I remember!
I feel huge!!
She is starting to move and wriggle a lot more, she doesn't really like the heat! She keeps sitting right down in my pelvis, I think she gets lost, (like her dad, refusing to ask directions!!) then tries kicking and punching her way out and it is the weirdest feeling in the world! I don't remember having this feeling with Charlie, and I presume it's because of my anterior placenta, so I'm feeling her in other places, rather than at the front.
My 20 week scan is next Tuesday, and I'm getting nervous, I just want to know everything is OK with her, that she is all fine and healthy.
I have had to buy a new diary just for Cora-Janes appointments, there are so many! In the next couple of weeks, I have a scan, Midwife and Consultant appointment.
Charlie is now on Summer Holidays and I have no idea what to do with him! Especially as I have my ex-husband breathing down my neck at every opportunity. I'm sure he he is jealous of my life and my happiness and is doing what he done to me when we had Charlie and trying to convince me I am not a good mother and I do everything wrong. He is an emotional and violent bully.
I have also decided that I am going to speak to my consultant about getting a prescription for my anti-depressants and start taking them the day I give birth, to ward off any post partum depression as I am more at risk because of my bipolar. It means I won't be able to breastfeed, but I feel it is in everyones interests that I am mentally stable, than the stigma that comes with formula feeding. Judge me, I don't care. I know it's the right thing to do!
I will update again tomorrow with a less rushed post!
And I want to send all the love and hugs in the world to Mrs Briggs!
Regarding the antidepressants, if you aren't able to be yourself, how are you able to give yourself to your baby. If being yourself and warding off PPD, means antidepressants, so what. A lot of the importance weighted on breastfeeding is also based on the bonding moments it gives but those occur when one makes them occur.
ReplyDeleteAnd tell your ex to f*ck off. ;)
<3
All the love in the world and more to you and little Cora-Jane!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jess, fuck breastfeeding if it means your health suffers. I was bottle feed as my Mum had to take medication as soon as I was born, I don't feel like I missed out or lack any form of anything! I'm sure she would rather have a happy mummy who can hold her and take cafe of her than a mummy who's suffering from PPD so can't get through a day, but will whip her boob out every so often!
Xx