CD17 Post IVF

Well, for some reason, my body seems to be playing nice, a few days off track, but nice.
I started doing the OPKs on CD13, I really wasn't expecting anything from this cycle in all honesty seeing as it's my first post IVF.
I thought I had a very near positive on CD15 during the day, tested again later that evening and it was a definite negative.
I tested again yesterday afternoon and this is what I found -

Ive no idea why they have come out upside down, but control line is on the left, test line is on the right.

I have also been having EWCM, not a lot, but more than I usually do, so I'm wondering if the catheter during my embryo transfer has kind of unclogged (for want of a better word) my cervix so my CM can flow freely!! (ha ha YUK)!!!!

Then of course we had the big discussion last night. Are we actually going to try naturally when I have positive OPKs? Because the plan was to just use them to check my body is functioning properly to do a FET, not for actual TTC reasons.

Bongo said he would like to keep TTC naturally while we wait for the FET, which is fine by me, I also read somewhere that you can naturally be more fertile after IVF, but that's the Internet for you, I have no idea if that's true or not.

We didn't get round to BDing last night as I have been awfully ill. As I kept thinking I was having teeth/gum problems, and I have been on high doses of amoxycillin and metronidazole (which make me ill in themselves) but the antibiotics should have knocked any infection, teeth/gum/whatever on its arse and I am still in absolute agony, I have been given a diagnoses of Trigeminal Neuralgia. Also known as suicide syndrome. I am tired all the time, I have practically been sleeping 18 hours a day the past few days, I don't know if the stress has triggered the condition, which in turn causes more stress itself, it's one big vicious circle.

Here is a link, if anyone is interested -

Trigeminal Neuralgia

I am off to visit my dentist again this afternoon to have a referral to my GP and then possibly be sent to a neurologist. Happy Days <<< we really do need a sarcasm font

So yet another illness to add to the long list of conditions I have. 

Why can't my body just work properly?

On the job front, well, I walked out on my dream job 4 years ago without any notice (mainly due to my mental heath issues and problems in my personal life) I felt I was being bullied, I couldn't keep up with the workload and my team leader who had previously been very kind to me suddenly turned on me in front of an office full of my colleagues.

I waited until the end of that working day and then never returned, I feel into a deep depression and had a breakdown, I refused to acknowledge any communication from them and my contract was terminated at the end of my working year contract.

I have since found out, that my team leader left not long after I did.

I also became very good friends with one of my colleagues, in and out of work, but she became too much and became too involved in my personal life and my relationship I was in at the time, she would interfere so much until in the end me and my ex split up because of her, she would tell me what, when, how and why I should act, and I decided to distance myself from her, that also became awkward in the office. As far as I know she still works there.

I loved that job, it was the best job I have ever had and I have always regretted walking out and not staying and dealing with my problems.

While I was job hunting last week (as the other job application never came to anything, I will not be dealing with that agency again) I noticed my old job was being advertised again, so I cheekily applied, obviously not expecting anything from it, well, yesterday, I was sent an Invitation to Interview for the job!

Three of my old colleagues will be interviewing me, two of them I got on OK with (one was another team leader who kind of knew I had personal problems) but the other I didn't get on with so much, we never had any issues, we just didn't click, but we were always pleasant to each other.

I am going to go to the interview and face my past, acknowledge my wrongs and how I disappointed and let the team down. Explain I was a different person back then and how my life and priorities have changed since then.

EVERYTHING about my life is genuinely completely different to then, I just don't know how to convey that to them without sounding like I am bullshitting! 

Of course I am scared to walk into a room with three of my ex colleagues judging me, in fact, that kept me awake for a while last night. 

But even if this just gives me the chance to apologise and explain what happened to me, I will be happy with that. It would be even better if they were to offer me my job back!

Watch this space!!