Wednesday, 31 July 2013
20 Weeks 5 Days
Aggggggggh, I just wrote a whole post and deleted it by mistake!!
So I had my 20 week scan yesterday, all is great. Although she is a big girl! All her measurements and checks came back within 'normal' limits. But she has got a big belly, I blame her Daddy for this, anyone who knows Bongo or has seen pictures of him will understand what I mean! I was worried at first about maybe a distended abdomen, but she reassured me it was all fine and I checked my scan notes afterwards and its all normal. Luckily I have an appointment with the Consultant next week, so I really will be pushing for my ELCS!!
We had a moment when we thought our little princess may be a little prince. During the scan, she kept referring to baby as 'he'. After she had done all her checks, she asked if we would like to know the gender, we said yes, but didn't tell her we already knew, we wanted confirmation. Baby kept being a little awkward and she had her feet in the wrong position, so the sonographer said 'at the start of the scan, I thought it was a boy', but she wriggled baby, and got the shot to confirm, it is definitely a girl!! Thank God!!
I have had a bit of a negative week this week. I feel I have lost some friends since becoming pregnant. I know this was to be expected, but it still hurts.
I have tried to be respectful and not harp on about my pregnancy and the baby, but I feel I have still lost friends anyway.
Sometimes it is very hard not to keep talking about it, I finally have what I thought I would never have, after 12 years of struggling.
But now I have lost these friends anyway, regardless of how respectful I have tried to be, and I now feel that why shouldn't I shout it from he rooftops after struggling for so long?? Why should I hide my pregnancy and baby like some dirty little secret?
I wouldn't be on FB everyday 'prenancy this, baby that, ooooh pregnancy is so hard' because I have far too much respect for the few that have stuck by me and supported me and been so understanding. I swear, I have not become one of 'those' infertiles, I just don't see why I should hide it anymore, I'm hurt that I have lost friends I thought would always be there.
I've also had a couple of really weird messages from people about my pregnancy this week, one friend I told I am pregnant to, who knows about our struggles, how long we have been trying and having IVF said 'Congrats, it took you fucking long enough'.............No Words, I just couldn't reply!
Then today, I had this conversation on FB. Am I over reacting? Or was that really really rude?? Thanks for reminding me I am terrified of having a natural birth and hoping my daughter doesn't 'rip me to pieces'
So I had my 20 week scan yesterday, all is great. Although she is a big girl! All her measurements and checks came back within 'normal' limits. But she has got a big belly, I blame her Daddy for this, anyone who knows Bongo or has seen pictures of him will understand what I mean! I was worried at first about maybe a distended abdomen, but she reassured me it was all fine and I checked my scan notes afterwards and its all normal. Luckily I have an appointment with the Consultant next week, so I really will be pushing for my ELCS!!
We had a moment when we thought our little princess may be a little prince. During the scan, she kept referring to baby as 'he'. After she had done all her checks, she asked if we would like to know the gender, we said yes, but didn't tell her we already knew, we wanted confirmation. Baby kept being a little awkward and she had her feet in the wrong position, so the sonographer said 'at the start of the scan, I thought it was a boy', but she wriggled baby, and got the shot to confirm, it is definitely a girl!! Thank God!!
I have had a bit of a negative week this week. I feel I have lost some friends since becoming pregnant. I know this was to be expected, but it still hurts.
I have tried to be respectful and not harp on about my pregnancy and the baby, but I feel I have still lost friends anyway.
Sometimes it is very hard not to keep talking about it, I finally have what I thought I would never have, after 12 years of struggling.
But now I have lost these friends anyway, regardless of how respectful I have tried to be, and I now feel that why shouldn't I shout it from he rooftops after struggling for so long?? Why should I hide my pregnancy and baby like some dirty little secret?
I wouldn't be on FB everyday 'prenancy this, baby that, ooooh pregnancy is so hard' because I have far too much respect for the few that have stuck by me and supported me and been so understanding. I swear, I have not become one of 'those' infertiles, I just don't see why I should hide it anymore, I'm hurt that I have lost friends I thought would always be there.
I've also had a couple of really weird messages from people about my pregnancy this week, one friend I told I am pregnant to, who knows about our struggles, how long we have been trying and having IVF said 'Congrats, it took you fucking long enough'.............No Words, I just couldn't reply!
Then today, I had this conversation on FB. Am I over reacting? Or was that really really rude?? Thanks for reminding me I am terrified of having a natural birth and hoping my daughter doesn't 'rip me to pieces'
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Monday, 22 July 2013
19 Weeks 3 Days
Ahhh, I've been crap at updating this past week or so!
Its been far too hot for me to even think, I'm not coping at all well with the heatwave we are having.
Here are my pics from 18 weeks, and I will update with my pics for this week tomorrow, if I remember!
Its been far too hot for me to even think, I'm not coping at all well with the heatwave we are having.
Here are my pics from 18 weeks, and I will update with my pics for this week tomorrow, if I remember!
I feel huge!!
She is starting to move and wriggle a lot more, she doesn't really like the heat! She keeps sitting right down in my pelvis, I think she gets lost, (like her dad, refusing to ask directions!!) then tries kicking and punching her way out and it is the weirdest feeling in the world! I don't remember having this feeling with Charlie, and I presume it's because of my anterior placenta, so I'm feeling her in other places, rather than at the front.
My 20 week scan is next Tuesday, and I'm getting nervous, I just want to know everything is OK with her, that she is all fine and healthy.
I have had to buy a new diary just for Cora-Janes appointments, there are so many! In the next couple of weeks, I have a scan, Midwife and Consultant appointment.
Charlie is now on Summer Holidays and I have no idea what to do with him! Especially as I have my ex-husband breathing down my neck at every opportunity. I'm sure he he is jealous of my life and my happiness and is doing what he done to me when we had Charlie and trying to convince me I am not a good mother and I do everything wrong. He is an emotional and violent bully.
I have also decided that I am going to speak to my consultant about getting a prescription for my anti-depressants and start taking them the day I give birth, to ward off any post partum depression as I am more at risk because of my bipolar. It means I won't be able to breastfeed, but I feel it is in everyones interests that I am mentally stable, than the stigma that comes with formula feeding. Judge me, I don't care. I know it's the right thing to do!
I will update again tomorrow with a less rushed post!
And I want to send all the love and hugs in the world to Mrs Briggs!
Monday, 8 July 2013
17 Weeks 3 Days
I haven't got a side profile bump picture to show this week, instead I have my 3D scans to post!
I have been feeling the baby move since the day after my MW appointment, although I can only ever feel it on my left side, which all becomes clear at my scan, I have an anterior placenta (at the front) which means I won't feel big movements for a while. I presume my placenta is on the right, at the front, as I only ever feel the baby move on the left.
2 days after my MW appointment, I had a bad bout of sciatica! I felt like I had been kicked my a horse in the arse and I couldn't put weight on my right leg!! I was like this for 2 days, and Bongo had to take a day off work to walk the dog and generally be my nurse!! It went as quickly as it started and I'm feeling a lot better.
So, Saturday, at 17 weeks and 1 day, we had our 3D gender scan, which my Mum, Dad, nephew and Charlie came to.
It was a bit of a bittersweet day though, as my great aunt died at 3.30am Saturday morning, I wouldn't go so far as to say we were extremely close, but she took over as our Nan after my Nan (her sister) passed away in 1995. But she was everybodys Nan, everyone in the town knew her, she welcomed everyone in, our family is HUGE, they had 21 brothers and sisters (No TV's in those days) and I certainly don't think that side of my family is infertile! The whole town is in mourning for our wonderful Auntie Ethel. She will be greatly missed.
So here are the pictures of our little PRINCESS, Cora-Jane Ellen. To explain why we have chosen her name. We both like the name Cora, it reminds me of the film Titanic, when Leonardo DiCaprio is dancing in 3rd Class with the little girl, then dances with Rose, but he says to the little girl 'Your still my favourite girl Cora', Jane comes from my dad's name, which is Jan (pronounced as in short for Janet, not Yan) and Ellen is my sisters middle name, who had to be honoured for her wonderful offer of paying for our FET.
Bongo guessed correct right from the beginning and he is absolutely smitten and over the moon he's having a little girl! I am chuffed to bits as well, of course all I want is a happy healthy baby, but to know I have one of each, as this will probably be my only time I have a baby, is just perfect.
Cheeky little lady decided to flip us the bird!! Definitely her mothers daughter!!
I think she's singing the song 'The Music Man' and doing the piano action here!!
GRRR, shaking her fist at us!!
I have been feeling the baby move since the day after my MW appointment, although I can only ever feel it on my left side, which all becomes clear at my scan, I have an anterior placenta (at the front) which means I won't feel big movements for a while. I presume my placenta is on the right, at the front, as I only ever feel the baby move on the left.
2 days after my MW appointment, I had a bad bout of sciatica! I felt like I had been kicked my a horse in the arse and I couldn't put weight on my right leg!! I was like this for 2 days, and Bongo had to take a day off work to walk the dog and generally be my nurse!! It went as quickly as it started and I'm feeling a lot better.
So, Saturday, at 17 weeks and 1 day, we had our 3D gender scan, which my Mum, Dad, nephew and Charlie came to.
It was a bit of a bittersweet day though, as my great aunt died at 3.30am Saturday morning, I wouldn't go so far as to say we were extremely close, but she took over as our Nan after my Nan (her sister) passed away in 1995. But she was everybodys Nan, everyone in the town knew her, she welcomed everyone in, our family is HUGE, they had 21 brothers and sisters (No TV's in those days) and I certainly don't think that side of my family is infertile! The whole town is in mourning for our wonderful Auntie Ethel. She will be greatly missed.
So here are the pictures of our little PRINCESS, Cora-Jane Ellen. To explain why we have chosen her name. We both like the name Cora, it reminds me of the film Titanic, when Leonardo DiCaprio is dancing in 3rd Class with the little girl, then dances with Rose, but he says to the little girl 'Your still my favourite girl Cora', Jane comes from my dad's name, which is Jan (pronounced as in short for Janet, not Yan) and Ellen is my sisters middle name, who had to be honoured for her wonderful offer of paying for our FET.
Bongo guessed correct right from the beginning and he is absolutely smitten and over the moon he's having a little girl! I am chuffed to bits as well, of course all I want is a happy healthy baby, but to know I have one of each, as this will probably be my only time I have a baby, is just perfect.
Cheeky little lady decided to flip us the bird!! Definitely her mothers daughter!!
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